I can already anticipate the reactions this piece will provoke: 1) Some will label me an awful parent, recounting their own charming memories of delightful sleepovers, and 2) Friends of my kids might decide to never let their children stay over again (Mission accomplished, grin).
Typically, the request for a sleepover surfaces on Saturdays after a chaotic day filled with children, all devouring my snacks and leaving my house in disarray. They’re running in and out, leaving the screen door open despite my endless reminders. Sure, I love the sound of their laughter and the sight of their messy joy… until nightfall hits, and I’m ready for peace.
At about 10 p.m., when I’ve shed my bra, washed my face, and donned my favorite, worn-out sweatpants from the ’80s, I undergo a dramatic transformation. I shift from the picture-perfect supermom to a version of myself that simply wants to be left alone. If your child stays over during this time, brace yourselves—both of us will face the repercussions.
If my kids manage to catch me off guard with a sleepover request before I fully settle in, be warned: once I’m on the couch, I will not be your kids’ babysitter. “Can you make sure Joey only watches G-rated movies?” (Nope.) “Haley can’t have sugar after 8 p.m.” (I don’t care.) “Jackson has soccer early tomorrow; can you help him sleep?” (Not happening.)
Rest assured, if your child spends the night here, they’ll experience a slumber party reminiscent of my youth: confined in the basement with junk food and questionable movies, playing games like Truth or Dare until dawn. The next morning, you’ll receive your adorable, sugar-crashed child back, ready to complain about their exhaustion.
One of the most challenging aspects of sleepovers is dealing with the child who suddenly gets homesick at 2 a.m. I can feel their presence hovering near my bed, like a scene from a horror film. “What’s wrong?” I grumble. “I want to go home,” they whimper. My response? “The car keys are on the kitchen counter. Just be sure to adjust the seat and duck if you see a cop. I’ll handle the car in the morning.”
But above all, the thing I dread the most about sleepovers is the expectation of breakfast. Breakfast? Not in this house. There won’t be any apron-wearing mom singing cheerful tunes while flipping pancakes. I’m all about coffee—if your child wants a cup, I can offer them that. Just point them toward the Keurig.
What’s that? Your kid wants to crash at my house? Well, then we’re on the same page, and by the way, my kids thrive on hearty breakfasts. For more information on how to make your home-friendly for sleepovers, check out this insightful piece on pregnancy and home insemination at March of Dimes. And if you’re interested in exploring artificial insemination options, our blog about the Cryobaby at Home Insemination Kit is a great resource. You might also want to read about managing insulin resistance through exercise for a healthy lifestyle.
In summary, sleepovers can be chaotic and exhausting, especially when you’re not fully prepared for the challenges they bring. As a parent, it’s essential to establish boundaries and expectations to navigate these events with some semblance of sanity.