While my little one’s birth certificate states that I became a father in 2010, the journey to truly embracing parenthood took a bit longer—at least until last week.
Before entering the world of parenting, I envisioned countless milestones: picking a name, assembling the crib, enduring labor, changing diapers, playing catch, removing training wheels, and that monumental first day of school. However, once I officially became a dad, I quickly realized that many of those milestones paled in comparison to the endless stream of small, everyday experiences that define the parenting journey. Each of these small victories is a significant event in its own right: the first burp, the first smile, the first crawl, and yes, even the first solid poop!
As time goes on, it becomes clear that these moments aren’t your milestones—they belong to your child. What marks the shift from being merely a caregiver to being an engaged parent involves subtler, yet equally profound experiences. Here are five indicators that signal your transformation into a dedicated parent.
Five Indicators You’ve Truly Become a Parent
- Embracing the Mess
Shortly after my son was born, my partner and I attended a New Year’s Eve gathering. Amidst the merriment and the amusing dialogues about pop culture, I had to change my son’s diaper. In the midst of this familiar task, I ended up with a bit of mess on my thumb. It wasn’t the first time, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. The realization that you can wipe off the mess, grab a drink, and move on without a second thought is a clear sign you’ve entered the realm of true parenthood. - The Worry-Wart
Babies often run fevers, and while it may not be alarming, that first fever sends parents into a tailspin. The overwhelming concern for your child’s well-being—whether it’s a fever or a peculiar rash—marks a pivotal moment in your parental journey. That initial wave of panic, no matter how trivial it may seem later, becomes a permanent part of your parenting experience. Panic, my friends, is a rite of passage in parenting. - The Parent Brag
When you become a parent, your child becomes central to your life. It’s only natural to take pride in their milestones, no matter how mundane they may seem. Once you find yourself excitedly sharing stories about their latest achievements, even the oddest topics—like the impressive size of a recent diaper change—you’ve officially crossed into the territory of “that parent.” - The Judgment Zone
I never thought I would be “that parent,” yet here I am, critiquing the parenting styles of others despite having no expert credentials. Each child and situation is distinct, but it’s human nature to assume your approach is superior. After a couple of years, you may start to feel like you’ve acquired some wisdom, but the moment you recognize that you don’t have all the answers is when you truly begin to understand what it means to be a good parent. - “Because I Said So!”
This moment was a revelation for me. After navigating the chaos of parenting—embracing the mess, nurturing panic, and reveling in pride—I finally channeled my own parents. When I told my son to tidy up his toys and he asked why, I instinctively replied with, “Because I said so!” That’s when I knew my transformation was complete. As the saying goes, “Any fool with a penis can create a child, but it takes a true parent to utter those words.”
As children grow, their development is punctuated by a series of “firsts,” each signifying a new achievement. However, parenting itself is about accumulation rather than isolated milestones. It’s not the first diaper change that defines your role as a dad, but rather the 50th, or the 800th tantrum you endure. Parenting is less about gaining skills and more about building a complex structure for your own existence. If you’re fortunate, you might find some freedom by the time they reach college.
For more insights into navigating the world of parenting, you can also check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination at UCSF. And if you’re curious about artificial insemination, visit Make A Mom for more information. Additionally, for engaging activities, consider exploring Intracervical Insemination.
Summary
The journey to becoming a parent is marked by numerous subtle milestones that go beyond the initial joys of childbirth. From embracing the chaos to experiencing emotional growth, each stage brings new challenges and insights. Whether it’s the acceptance of messiness, the instinctive worry, or the realization that you’ve become “that parent,” these signs collectively illustrate the transformative nature of parenthood.