As a parent, I often find myself masking my children while out with friends who share the same safety mindset. Although my friend and I are both fully vaccinated and following CDC guidelines, her comfort level with masks remains higher than mine. So, even in the sweltering heat, I choose to keep my mask on. It’s a minor inconvenience compared to the reassurance it brings her. We’re both navigating a new reality, one that doesn’t include the ease of maskless gatherings just yet.
It’s crucial to understand that neither of us is wrong in our choices (although flouting CDC guidelines is definitely not advisable). The real issue arises when individuals shame others for not conforming to someone else’s idea of “normal.”
After enduring a year marked by isolation and a staggering loss of life, many of us are still grappling with profound grief. The emotional toll of this pandemic cannot be overlooked. Just last week, I was brought to tears upon learning about the overwhelming death toll in places like India, where the lack of resources has led to unimaginable suffering. And with recent legislative changes allowing children to forgo masks at school, my heart breaks for my husband, a teacher navigating these challenges.
Grief Is Personal: We Lost Loved Ones
Many of us have faced the harrowing reality of losing family and friends to COVID-19, only to be denied the chance to mourn properly. Each death left behind grieving loved ones. It’s unrealistic to expect those individuals to move on as if everything is back to normal. They are still in mourning, and we should allow them the space to heal.
During the pandemic, I lost my last grandparent, attending only a small, masked funeral. We were fortunate to have a ceremony at all, as many faced estrangements and conflicts over safety protocols. These painful revelations about friends and family members have left scars that will take time to heal. It’s naive to expect normalcy from those who are still processing trauma.
Isolation Impacted Our Social Skills
The past year of isolation has been a mixed bag for many. For some, it was a struggle against the monotony; for others, it was a time of unexpected relief. However, the lack of social interaction has left many feeling out of practice. As I prepare for brunch with friends, I can’t shake the anxiety of conversing face-to-face again. My social skills feel rusty, and I worry about navigating these interactions smoothly.
Please understand that it’s unreasonable to expect me or anyone else to revert to “normal” so quickly. We need time to adjust.
Allow Us the Space to Heal
While some may feel comfortable sending their children to school without masks, I’m still cautious about my own. Even though complications from COVID-19 in children are rare, the long-term effects remain uncertain. My children will continue to wear masks around others until I feel it’s safe.
It’s essential to give everyone the space to process their feelings. If you see us wearing masks or opting out of gatherings, please respect our choices. That mask may be a symbol of comfort and security for us.
Like I said, it’s not about you; it’s about the complicated emotions we are all navigating. I may appear fine on the surface, but as a David Bowie lyric reminds me, “I’ve got scars that can’t be seen.” I genuinely wish you happiness and a return to normalcy, but please understand that my path is different.
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Summary
This article underscores the importance of compassion during a time of collective grief stemming from the COVID-19 pandemic. It addresses the emotional challenges many face as they navigate returning to social norms while still processing personal losses and fears. It highlights the need for patience and understanding as individuals cope with their unique experiences.