As a parent, the surprise of having twins is something few are truly prepared for. Among the myriad of concerns that arise during pregnancy—like managing the physical toll of carrying 13 pounds of baby—deciding whether to separate them for school was not something I had anticipated. However, with my twins approaching preschool this fall, this topic has increasingly occupied my thoughts.
Growing up, I certainly knew a few sets of twins, but it was typically just one pair that everyone referred to. Today, it’s common to see multiple sets of multiples in classrooms. Since 1980, twin births have surged by 76%, with 33 out of every 1,000 births now being twins. This demographic shift means that classrooms are more likely than ever to include twins. According to Lynn M. Gordon, a professor at California State University–Northridge, one in every 30 children is now a twin, making it highly probable for your child’s class to include twins.
In the past few years, the number of twins attending preschool has notably increased. Paula Heitman, director of a nonprofit offering classes for children under five, remarked on having eight sets of twins in her program last year. Eileen Shannon, a preschool director in Brooklyn with over 25 years of experience, noted that educators aim to recognize each twin as an individual while also honoring their connection. “Our goal is to encourage each twin to develop their unique identity while still valuing their bond,” she explained.
However, when it comes to kindergarten, many schools have policies favoring separation. In fact, statistics show that 80 to 84% of twins in the United States are placed in separate classrooms, in stark contrast to countries like the UK and Australia, where separation is far less common. Gordon’s research highlights that the more distanced a decision-maker is from the twins, the more likely they are to advocate for separation. A striking 71% of principals support separating twins in kindergarten, whereas only 19% of the twins themselves agree.
This raises an important question: Should parents have the final say in this decision? Research indicates that separating twins does not confer cognitive advantages, and, in some cases, it may even be emotionally detrimental. Gordon points out that having a twin in the same classroom can ease the transition to school, providing a familiar companion that helps with adjustment. “Twins in the same class tend to be more popular,” she noted.
Though there are reasons to consider separation—like behavioral issues or differing academic levels—experts like Eve-Marie Arce argue that parents should ultimately make the decision. “Alienating parents does a disservice to families,” she stated. A flexible approach that considers the unique needs of each family and the personalities of the twins is essential.
As I ponder whether my girls will thrive together or apart, I am resolute that this decision should rest with our family, not the school. For more insights on fertility and parenting options, check out our post on home insemination kits, or visit March of Dimes for invaluable pregnancy resources.
In summary, the choice to separate twins in school is complex and should prioritize the family’s needs and the twins’ individual personalities. Parents, more than anyone else, know their children best.