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- Shed the Baby Weight in 12 Manageable Steps
by Jamie Carter
Updated: Oct. 25, 2019
Originally Published: Oct. 17, 2014
Every parenting website claims, “The average woman gains 25 lbs or less during her pregnancy.” Yet, you flip through a magazine and find yourself gazing at the sculpted physiques of celebrity moms like Emily Wright or Sarah Lane, who attribute their impressive figures to casual nursing sessions and brisk strolls with a baby jogger. After tossing the magazine aside in frustration and devouring an entire box of donuts, your mission becomes clear: reclaim your pre-baby body. It may feel more challenging than childbirth, but if you adhere to these 12 straightforward steps, you’ll be turning heads at your child’s playgroup in no time.
Step 1: Start with Extra Weight.
The only way to claim, “I lost 75 lbs” is to begin by gaining that amount.
Step 2: Join a Fitness Center.
Motivating yourself to return to spin class or lunges can be downright unbearable when even sitting down feels like an ordeal. The reality is, you probably won’t find the time or energy to go frequently. But hey, just walking up to the registration desk burns a few calories—once.
Step 3: Ditch the Junk Food.
Now’s the moment to stop indulging in all those peculiar cravings you justified during pregnancy. No more slathering cream cheese on your eggs or smashing candy bars into your breakfast cereal with a meat tenderizer.
Step 4: Consider Breastfeeding.
The calories from your indulgent cream cheese eggs will literally be consumed by your little one, helping you shed those extra pounds.
Step 5: Avoid Establishing a Sleep Schedule.
Once you’ve endured weeks of sleep deprivation, you’ll likely forget where the fridge is, let alone have the energy to raid it.
Step 6: Embrace the “Arm’s Reach” Diet.
When your newborn is dozing on your lap, you’ll find yourself limited to snacks within arm’s reach. One day, it might be stale popcorn; another, a vitamin drink and a few dust bunnies. All paths lead to weight loss.
Step 7: Wait Until After Birth to Assemble Furniture.
Putting together a baby dresser is more complicated than assembling a spaceship. Your acrobatics while trying to assemble it will trim your waistline in no time.
Step 8: Resist Buying New Clothes.
Oprah might not approve, but nothing motivates weight loss quite like squeezing into your old jeans. Just try to avoid wearing maternity pants indefinitely.
Step 9: Keep a Rubber Band on Your Wrist.
Whenever the urge to snack on unhealthy food hits, stretch the rubber band over your head and under your jaw. The headache that follows will surely deter you from munching.
Step 10: Surround Yourself with Health-Conscious Friends.
If your friends are all training for half-marathons, you’ll be inspired to join them, if only to celebrate with a drink after their race.
Step 11: Hang Out with Unhealthy Company.
Perhaps a friend with a cold or flu? When you’re feeling too unwell to eat, the pounds will start to drop off.
And if all else fails…
Step 12: Have Another Baby.
While this won’t magically erase the baby weight, you can once again enjoy cream cheese eggs and comfy elastic pants.
For additional insights on family planning, check out our post on artificial insemination kits. If you’re looking for the perfect eyeliner to match your eye color, this guide is an excellent resource. For more on pregnancy and home insemination, refer to this helpful article on intrauterine insemination.
Summary:
Losing baby weight can seem daunting, but by following these humorous yet practical steps, you can navigate the journey with a lighter heart—and body! From embracing breastfeeding to surrounding yourself with fit friends, each step can lead to success in reclaiming your pre-baby figure.