Navigating the journey of trying to conceive can be fraught with challenges, particularly the emotional rollercoaster of infertility. While I have shared my thoughts extensively on the stress that accompanies this experience, today, I want to focus on one silver lining: the freedom from birth control concerns. The shift from desperately seeking conception to avoiding it entirely is quite an adjustment.
When my midwife suggested I try a diaphragm, I felt a wave of nostalgia, reminiscent of quirky 70s and 80s films. “Why not give it a shot?” I thought. In hindsight, that was a decision that could have used a bit more self-reflection.
To be honest, I have a somewhat irrational fear of getting something stuck inside me and not being able to retrieve it. I’ve heard cautionary tales that have left me uneasy about inserting things into my body. One particularly memorable story involved a friend who didn’t realize she had left a tampon in for months—living her life normally while an old, forgotten tampon remained lodged within her. Additionally, many of my college friends shared horror stories of searching for lost condoms during intimate moments. These experiences, combined with my own anxious tendencies, made me hesitant about using a diaphragm, which, as I quickly learned, needs to be positioned quite deeply.
Back to the fitting—my midwife was enthusiastic. I responded, “Sure! Why not?” I casually agreed to let her assistant and a nursing student observe the process, not realizing the implications. I naively thought this fitting would be just like any other gynecological appointment, where I could lay back and look away while making small talk. Instead, I became the focal point of the fitting.
The diaphragm resembles a larger, rolled-up balloon with rigid edges. When I saw it, my heart raced as my midwife demonstrated how to insert it. It slipped right inside, and while I hardly felt it, a wave of panic washed over me. Surely, she would help me retrieve it, right? Wrong. I quickly discovered I needed to learn how to take it out myself, which sent my anxiety into overdrive.
“Just stand up and prop your leg up on the stool. Feel for the edge,” she instructed. I complied, but with three pairs of eyes on me, my nerves skyrocketed. I imagined them writing notes on my struggle: “Patient sweating. Confusion evident.” With each attempt, my panic increased. The midwife and her students had to intervene multiple times to retrieve the diaphragm, each time only adding to my discomfort. After nearly an hour of this, I resolved that there was no way I could use this as a reliable contraceptive method. I couldn’t shake the irrational fear that intimacy would send this thing deep into my body, never to be seen again.
Weeks later, pharmacy reminders about my diaphragm began to feel like a haunting reminder of that day. No thanks.
If you’re seeking alternatives for conception, consider checking out this guide on at-home insemination kits, which offers helpful insights. For more information on nursing, this site is an authority on bottle feeding tips for a smooth journey. Additionally, WebMD provides an excellent resource on various pregnancy and home insemination treatments.
In summary, while the transition from trying to conceive to choosing a birth control method can be daunting, it’s essential to remain informed and thoughtful about your options.