Traveling with young children can be quite a challenge. Toddlers are a handful, and school-aged kids can be equally exhausting. The idea of “waiting until they’re old enough to truly appreciate” family travel is nearly laughable.
I’ve traveled extensively with my little ones, often taking family vacations during maternity leave since I can’t stand being cooped up for too long. Sure, traveling with a baby requires a lot of planning, adaptability, and a good sense of humor. Friends would often say to me, as I navigated Disney World with a newborn and a toddler, “I’ll just wait until mine are older.” I understand where they’re coming from, but being a travel enthusiast, I made it a point to explore with my kids every year since they were born. Our adventures weren’t limited to annual Disney trips (no judgment here!) — we also took road trips to visit grandparents and even flew across the globe to Australia. Trust me, you can handle a 17-hour flight with kids just like a 2-hour one — with snacks and screen time.
I faced many challenges, from zombie-like wandering through a Stockholm hotel with a jet-lagged toddler to my daughter staging a sit-in with a snowman in Vermont. But nothing compared to the myth that teens, supposedly “old enough to appreciate” travel, can be complete brats during trips.
Lessons Learned in Dublin
Take our experience in Dublin, for example. We explored ancient sites and even spotted a rainbow. Just as we were heading to a coveted dinner reservation, my kids declared they were done and wanted to return to the hotel. I became frustrated, feeling they were ungrateful. After all, how often do we get to be in Dublin? I dragged them to the restaurant, but my son refused to eat, and we all returned to the hotel in bad spirits.
I realized three things: First, like babies and younger children, teens enjoy hanging out in hotels, especially if there’s a pool, regardless of whether they’re in Dublin or Detroit. Second, I had let my own desires overshadow theirs. I craved a nice dinner and a glass of wine; they just wanted to chill. If I could redo that night, I would have simply ordered burgers for them and enjoyed my nice dinner with my husband alone. Lastly, despite their grumpy behavior at the time, my kids fondly remember that trip.
When they talk about how much they love Ireland, my husband and I exchange knowing looks, wondering if we recall the same vacation. When my son reminisced about how “cool” Trinity College was, I pulled up photos of him looking bored and unimpressed. Yet, despite the evidence, he recalls the trip fondly.
Embracing the Grumpy Teen
Recently, I reassured a friend whose son acted up during a much-anticipated family vacation. “Just wait,” I told her. “He’ll remember this differently.” This conversation prepared me for yet another trip to the UK with my grumpy son, this time without my daughter. I decided to let him take the lead. When he wanted to nap (which was often), I obliged. When he preferred to stay in the hotel on his laptop, I let him. I even invited him on walks, and to my surprise, he occasionally joined me. Letting him “lead” our excursions meant he often walked ahead, acting like he didn’t know me — it was amusing. We laughed when he dubbed Nottingham Castle as “trash.”
It turns out that sharing laughter with my teen made our travels much more enjoyable than demanding gratitude. I now understand my kids appreciate every trip we’ve taken together. However, being teens, they’re unlikely to express their gratitude outright. I never did at that age either! It’s only now, traveling with my own mother as an adult, that I can fully appreciate the experiences she provided, now that I’m no longer in the typical teenager mindset.
Finding Joy in Every Age
I love babies and recognize that something as simple as a hotel lobby fountain can be a highlight of their vacation. I enjoy my nieces, ages 6 and 8, who eagerly lead me to playgrounds wherever we go. And I take delight in my 16-year-old son pointing out how the British Museum has artifacts from all over the world and that the mummies are a bit creepy. His appreciation may not look like traditional gratitude, but as he snaps and shares photos with friends, I know he values our experiences together. Creating new memories with your kids is always worthwhile.
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