Lately, I’ve been reflecting on my friendships, and I’ve come to the realization that my circle isn’t as large as I thought. Sure, I have a wealth of friends from different stages of life, a supportive family who often doubles as my best pals, and a vibrant neighborhood filled with kids racing around on their bikes and scooters. However, when it comes to finding that quintessential “mom friend” — the one who can endure the chaos of diaper blowouts and toddler tantrums — my options are limited. Why is that? I suspect it’s because I’m selective. Searching for a true mom friend feels akin to navigating an intense dating scene, but with the added complexity of managing 2–4 little ones (the exes, if you will).
This got me thinking about the qualities I seek in a mom friend. Remember when you used to jot down the traits you wanted in your dream partner? Well, here’s my wishlist for the ultimate mom friend. See if you resonate with any of these:
Be Authentic.
This is my top priority. Enough with the perfect portrayals and the “my kids are flawless” narratives. Let’s embrace the chaos instead. The photo accompanying this post? It’s a bit fuzzy because I didn’t have anyone to take it. My hair is a mess, and I’m juggling a baby and two bottles of wine — because that’s real life.
Keep It Calm.
I don’t need anyone with high-strung energy levels on top of the whirlwind of my three little ones.
Sip Some Wine.
If you’re not into wine, that’s cool, but please don’t judge me if I go for a second (or third) glass! Parenting is no easy feat.
No Judgments, Please.
I’m my worst critic, so I don’t need your judgment on top of my own. Let’s just skip the white gloves, shall we?
Understand My Exhaustion.
If I have to cancel plans, please don’t be upset! I’m seriously drained — like, running-on-empty kind of tired.
Forgive My Forgetfulness.
If I inadvertently leave you off an invitation, don’t take it personally. I probably just blanked out. After all, I haven’t had a solid night’s sleep in years.
Text Over Calls.
Let’s stick to texting unless we schedule a dedicated phone chat over a bottle of wine.
Social Media is Fine, But…
You can post whatever you want on social media, but I’d like to hear the juicy details from you in person instead.
Let Me Share My Stories.
When I share a hilarious anecdote (even if you don’t find it funny), please indulge me and let me tell it again when we meet. I enjoy making you smile.
Your Partner Matters.
I want to go on double dates, so let’s ensure your husband isn’t a jerk.
Discipline My Kids.
If my children are misbehaving, feel free to correct them. I expect them to respect you.
Messy Homes Are Real.
My place won’t always be spotless, and if yours is, I might think you’re trying too hard. We’re in this together!
Support Is Key.
Whatever your hustle is, even if it’s just wrangling toddlers, I’m here for your ambitions. It’d be great if you could cheer me on, too.
Vent, but Move On.
We can share our gripes, but let’s not linger in gossip. Instead, let’s dream about our future adventures as empty nesters.
Let’s Escape Together.
Plan a getaway or even a hotel night together — we both deserve a break! Don’t make me feel guilty about leaving the kids at home.
Reconnect Anytime.
If it’s been a while, just shoot me a text. Let’s grab coffee and pick up where we left off without the awkwardness.
We are all unique individuals trying to raise these little beings. Support me, and I promise I’ll do the same for you. By the way, if you’re interested in at-home insemination options, check out this article, which covers fertility kits and more. You can also learn about in vitro fertilization as a fantastic resource for pregnancy.
In summary, finding that ideal mom friend can be a challenge, but with authenticity, support, and a shared understanding of the chaos that comes with parenting, it’s possible to build a meaningful friendship that thrives on mutual respect and fun.