As the new school year approaches, I find myself standing in the school supply aisle, fighting back tears. I’m the mom who has to purchase shoes that are suddenly two sizes larger, all while trying to conceal my misty eyes from the young sales associate who might think I’m a bit odd. I’m the one who struggles to keep the camera steady as my little one walks proudly down the aisle as a flower girl, realizing that she is braver and more grown-up than I’d anticipated. I like to call them motherhood tears—those tears that stem from a complex mix of pride, gratitude, fear, wonder, excitement, and profound love.
These tears aren’t born from frustration or exhaustion—though I’ve shed plenty of those as well. No, these are the heart’s tears, the ones that seem to spring from nowhere. I used to believe I was the only one who got teary-eyed over the smallest moments, but I soon discovered I was mistaken. I’ve shared knowing glances with other moms who’ve teared up during dance recitals and daycare drop-offs, and I’ve learned that I’m not alone in this emotional experience.
My six-year-old daughter has started to notice these moments. She caught me in tears on my son’s last day of toddler class, leading her to ask why I “cry like a mom.” So, why am I emotional about the start of the school year?
I cry because they’ve grown another year older. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve dropped them off at school; I’m still the mom getting teary at the door and sobbing in the car on the way to work. I cry because one Saturday morning, she innocently asked if Santa is real, and I had to grapple with telling her the truth. There’s no warning for these significant moments—no roadmap to guide me in finding the perfect answer at the right time. I just have to jump in, hoping I make the right choice, and then find myself stress-eating in the kitchen as I realize I’m crying over Santa because she’s old enough to question his existence.
I cry because my son is getting his first haircut. I adore those baby curls that smell of no-tears shampoo and create the perfect bed-head. I know that once those curls are snipped, it will mark the end of his babyhood and reveal a little boy hiding beneath them.
I unexpectedly found myself crying at Sesame Street Live, watching my children beam with joy as Elmo expressed his love for them. Is it a universal truth of parenting that witnessing our children experience pure joy can bring us to tears? I certainly didn’t expect to tear up while watching larger-than-life puppets, but their happiness overwhelmed me.
As my daughter prepares for her upcoming recital, I know I’ll be emotional. The anticipation of her in costume, rehearsals, and the nerves leading up to the performance will culminate in tears of pride, relief, and disbelief that she has grown so brave and capable. I can’t help but feel a surge of emotion when I see older kids take the stage, performing complex dances or solos that I know my kids will tackle one day. It makes me realize how quickly they’re growing up, and I can’t help but cry at the thought of them no longer being my little ones.
That’s why I’m crying.
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In summary, as the school year begins, I find myself overwhelmed with emotions as my children grow and experience new milestones. It’s a bittersweet journey filled with moments that bring tears of joy, pride, and nostalgia.