Motherhood is fundamentally about nurturing love for your child. My approach, which I call adaptive parenting, is customized for each of my kids, ensuring they feel cherished for their unique selves.
Currently, I’m navigating the challenges of raising two teenage boys who, despite their towering heights, remain my little ones at heart. In their now defined and shaven faces, I often see echoes of their younger days. My eldest son, Jake, who is nearly sixteen, was a whirlwind from the moment he entered this world. I vividly remember those exhausting drives around the block, trying to coax my two-year-old to sleep. He’s still all legs, those long limbs that once flailed as I carried his sleeping form to bed and now carry him confidently into adulthood. Standing at 5’10”, Jake is evolving into a young man—shy yet courteous, the kind you’d be proud to bring home. His fifth-grade teacher once said he was the “kindest child she had encountered in 30 years.” While he may not always show that kindness to his brother, it’s a tale I’ll cherish and share at his future wedding.
With Jake, my nurturing side shines through. I initiate after-school hugs, and he leans in, our heads touching in a wordless exchange, as he’s not one for many words. I found it challenging to read his mind, learning quickly that yes or no questions wouldn’t work. Instead, I linger in his space, patiently waiting for him to share his stories. I’ve even caught myself watching ESPN just to glean insights into his day. While he seldom asks for homework assistance, he recently asked me to review a video he created on the importance of accepting those with mental disabilities. I was genuinely impressed by the depth of his understanding—his narrative voice advocating for inclusion echoed the values I instilled in him long ago. Those lessons from our days in the playground and kitchen had taken root in his mind. With Jake, I embody gentleness and tranquility, adapting to his emotional needs.
In contrast, my younger son, Ryan, demands a completely different approach. He thrives on excitement and fun. In his world, I’m the cool mom who jokes about Saturday Night Live, drives his friends to the movies, and hosts lively sleepovers. Ryan enters the house buzzing with stories of his latest middle school antics, declaring, “Mom, we decided all my friends are coming over after the Social. You’re picking us up!” He’s the quintessential social butterfly, known affectionately as “the mayor” of our household.
Ryan requires my undivided attention and thrives on engaging interactions. Sometimes, I crave a moment of peace, but I recognize that he flourishes with lively exchanges. He keeps me on my toes, often reminding me of last-minute school projects that necessitate frantic trips to the store for supplies. He connects effortlessly with adults, chatting about movies and current events, earning praise from parents for his mature demeanor. Perhaps my encouragement of his early creative endeavors, like filming his Lego Star Wars stories, contributed to his confidence. Or maybe it was simply indulging his requests for a life-size Karaoke Santa to support his stand-up routines. Whatever the method, I recognized his love for theatricality and embraced it wholeheartedly. During his nursery school picture day, I was the attentive mom, ensuring every child looked their best. When I noticed Ryan was the smallest in the lineup, his teacher quickly reassured me, “Only in stature!” It was a sign that my efforts were beginning to bear fruit.
In essence, motherhood embodies a multitude of roles. It’s an intricate blend of adapting to your child’s needs, requiring patience, flexibility, and selflessness. The early years may demand sleepless nights spent soothing a colicky baby or playful afternoons spent finger painting with a preschooler. As children grow, we may find ourselves acting as therapists during moments of turmoil or providing comfort to anxious teenagers awaiting college decisions.
“You’ll be a great mother because you had one,” my dad told me when I was pregnant with Jake. I cherish my mother’s ongoing support—she continues to parent me in the ways I need. Motherhood is a marathon fueled by love, with our children emerging as the true champions. As I raise my boys, I often reflect on my father’s wisdom, knowing I carry his legacy forward.
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In summary, motherhood requires a blend of love, adaptability, and attentiveness to foster a nurturing environment for children to thrive.