As I watch my daughter spill water on the floor, my partner jokingly instructs her, “Ella, please go to the kitchen, grab a towel, wipe up the water, and return it.” Without hesitation, Ella complies, cleaning up the mess and placing the towel back on the counter.
My partner is astounded as he observes her follow his four-step directive. Ella is just 13 months old, the younger sibling to her brother. At that age, her brother might have found the towel but would have likely been distracted by a toy or completely forgotten the task at hand.
In essence, I have a “typical” boy and a “typical” girl.
When my son was younger, and we hadn’t yet welcomed our daughter, I found it frustrating to hear sweeping statements about kids based on gender. I would roll my eyes at parents who watched my son and remarked, “Oh, he’s such a boy,” while they sat with their daughters, who were playing quietly. Wild behavior was often labeled as boyish, while positive traits were overwhelmingly associated with girls. I took it personally, as if being a boy was something to diminish. “Boys and girls are the same,” I would assert, hoping it was a universal truth.
Then came Ella—a real baby, I joked after having one of each. Reflecting on my son’s early years, I realized he resembled a turkey that had been pulled from the oven too soon. Everything seemed to come effortlessly to Ella, while my son was like a tornado, leaving chaos in his wake. In contrast, Ella emerged organized and precise, displaying motor skills akin to a surgeon. Meanwhile, my son could spend hours searching for his shoes only to discover they were on his feet the whole time.
Though my experience is limited to just two children, I can’t fathom why women don’t dominate the world. Ella is special because she’s mine, but she certainly isn’t the only one. Ask any mother of a toddler girl, and they’ll likely agree that their daughters could run the country someday. Yet, as they grow, these strong toddler girls often become hesitant children and giggling schoolgirls, forcing women to remind themselves to “lean in.” But they were born ready to take charge.
I’m particularly struck by my daughter’s confidence because I can’t help but wonder if I shared that same spirit at her age. She embodies the version of me that existed before the world told me to tone it down. Reflecting on my struggle to embrace my own confidence, I recognize that my little Ella is just as capable as I once was.
We must empower our girls to maintain their authenticity. Just as we should stop labeling boys negatively for their behavior, we owe it to our girls to help them remain true to themselves. They arrive in this world poised to lead; we just need to step aside and let them soar.
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Summary:
This article discusses the confidence and capabilities of young girls, as observed through the author’s experiences with her daughter compared to her son. It highlights the societal pressures that often diminish girls’ assertiveness as they grow up and calls for empowering them to maintain their self-assurance and leadership potential.