In my early twenties, I found myself gazing into a friend’s mirror, trapped in an endless loop of self-reflection, like a picture within a picture. I could see myself crying, and a voice echoed in my head, telling me I was unwanted. The words spilled from my lips, making sense only to me, while I felt the emotions of everything surrounding me. I was engulfed by a whirlwind of pain and beauty, perceiving words and reaching out to touch sound. I was experiencing a psychotic break, though I didn’t recognize it at the time.
When my former partner rushed me to the emergency room, one doctor asked if I practiced Wicca. This question came while I was speaking rapidly and irrationally. What is Wicca? I thought. I didn’t identify with that. Instead of being treated with empathy for my mental health crisis, I was met with skepticism and ridicule, as if my distress stemmed from some obscure belief rather than a serious mental health episode.
After denying the Wicca question and inquiries about substance use, they finally shifted to my mental health background. They consulted my psychiatrist and psychologist, and I was eventually sent home after assuring them I wouldn’t harm myself. At that point, I had begun to calm down, eager to escape the situation. I felt humiliated and bewildered, thinking I was a failure, trapped in a therapy cycle that seemed futile. When would I be fixed? When would I feel normal?
Through my journey, I’ve come to understand that I was never flawed, and the notion of being “normal” is a misleading idea that no one can truly achieve. If you’re grappling with mental health issues, know you’re not alone. What you need is love and support, not stigma.
Before the pandemic, nearly 20% of Americans had encountered mental health challenges, yet over half of these individuals refrained from seeking help due to fears of judgment, job loss, or strained relationships. For instance, Maria, a writer from Florida, shared how her Latina background added stigma to discussing mental health. “I remember hearing about a distant aunt labeled ‘la loca’ (the crazy one). She wasn’t even recognized by name, just as the family’s crazy member. This attitude is common in my culture.” Instead of addressing mental health openly, Maria battled anxiety and alcohol abuse alone, wishing her family embraced these conversations instead of avoiding them.
Many, including myself, turn to substances to cope with the unexplainable pain we try to hide. We experience cognitive dissonance between recognizing something is wrong and feeling dismissed. We’re told to toughen up and remain silent about our struggles.
Take the story of Alex, a mother of three from Vermont, who has faced anxiety and panic attacks since childhood. “From a young age, I learned it wasn’t okay to feel overwhelmed,” she explained. “The prevailing message was to toughen up. The stigma around depression suggests that those who suffer are downers, making others uncomfortable.” She spent years seeking solutions, only to hit roadblocks when her insurance coverage for therapy ran out.
The shortcomings of our insurance systems are appalling. Before undergoing gender-affirming surgery, which was crucial for my well-being, I had to justify my need for the procedure to both my insurance and surgeon. I ended up cashing out an expensive life insurance policy because I could no longer afford the premiums after my divorce. Despite paying $12,000 out of pocket for my medical bills and expecting insurance to cover a significant portion, I received no reimbursement as my plan only covered a mere $2,500 after meeting my deductible.
Furthermore, when I sought a more affordable life insurance policy to replace the one I had surrendered, I was denied coverage due to my mental health history and previous substance use, despite being sober for two years and in the best emotional state of my life. I was receiving necessary mental health care, my physical health was excellent, and I was doing everything “right.” Yet, none of that mattered. Society deemed me too high-risk, leaving me unable to secure coverage for the “death by suicide” clause. My past struggles, including suicidal ideation and substance abuse, left marks that society considers permanent.
Another individual, Sam from New York, shared that her husband avoided seeking help for his crippling anxiety and irrational anger due to fears of job loss. “This led to irreparable damage, not just for him, but for our family as well,” she recounted. “It was only after he left the Army that he felt free to pursue the therapy and medication he desperately needed.”
Mental illness can affect anyone, regardless of gender, profession, age, race, or socioeconomic status. Despite the millions suffering, mental health struggles often remain hidden, dismissed, or mischaracterized as laziness or incompetence. Instead of receiving compassion and support, many of us facing mental health challenges encounter stigma from society and from within ourselves. This negative treatment creates a cycle of silence, shame, and self-judgment. We must work to break these harmful cycles.
I have been receiving mental health support since I was 18. With a dedicated team of therapists, a toolkit of coping skills, and years of difficult yet enlightening experiences, I have learned to acknowledge my past. I was a victim of childhood abuse and have navigated toxic relationships. My mind has adapted for survival, even to the extent of self-harm. I’ve learned not to blame myself for my abuse or the mental health issues that arose from that trauma.
We need to extend understanding to one another. Reducing stigmas around mental health will encourage others to seek the help they need and deserve. People require kindness, not reasons to feel inadequate.
Don’t buy into the lies. You are not broken. You are not a failure. You are worthy, and you are loved.
For further reading, check out this informative piece on vitamin-rich foods, or explore this expert resource for more insights on mental health. Additionally, this blog offers valuable information related to pregnancy and home insemination.
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Summary:
The article emphasizes the importance of recognizing that mental health struggles do not equate to being broken or flawed. It discusses personal experiences with stigma, the challenges of seeking help, and the need for compassion and understanding towards those facing mental health issues. The message is clear: everyone deserves support and should not feel ashamed of their struggles.