In the realm of parenting, one of the most significant decisions is selecting a name for your child. For me, this journey began the moment I discovered that I was expecting boys. My first son was named Alexander, after my cherished maternal grandfather, who had passed away just a few years earlier. While his first name was clear, choosing a middle name became a source of contention. Should we honor my paternal grandfather, or perhaps my husband’s grandfather, with whom he shared a deep connection?
In a moment of innocence, I shared our naming ideas with family members, not realizing the flood of opinions that would follow. Each relative seemed to have a strong stance on the matter—some were passionate, while others were tearful. I had grossly underestimated how much pressure I would feel from certain family members who believed they had a say in our decision. Ultimately, we settled on my husband’s grandfather’s name for the middle name, influenced in part by our preference but also by the weight of family expectations.
This experience was my first taste of the unsolicited advice that often accompanies parenting decisions, from sleep routines to feeding practices. Nonetheless, I grew more resolute in my choices as a mother. However, when it came time to name our second son, I mistakenly opened the dialogue with family again.
Learning the Hard Way
Why hadn’t I learned my lesson? This time, we were not considering names with deep personal significance. Instead, we focused on simple names like Jack, Charlie, or Peter. After enjoying nights reading “Peter Pan” to our older son, we found ourselves leaning toward the name Peter. It simply felt right.
Despite our fondness for the name, when we mentioned it casually to family, the responses were mixed. Some liked it, while others reacted with outright disdain, even urging us not to choose it. The negativity caught me off guard, and I felt so upset that I locked myself in the bathroom for a moment of privacy to cry. It seemed absurd at the time, but I was deeply affected by their harsh feedback, particularly as I was navigating the emotional turmoil of pregnancy. That very night, my water broke, and labor began for our little Peter.
Though the discussions surrounding the name did linger in my mind during labor, they did not overshadow the joy of welcoming our son. When our older son arrived to meet his new brother, he asked about the name we had chosen. When we informed him that we had yet to decide, he looked at us in disbelief and confidently declared, “His name is Peter.” In that instant, the decision was sealed. Our family members, who had previously voiced their disapproval, fell silent on the matter once Peter was born.
A Lesson Learned
While I don’t harbor resentment towards my family for their opinions, I do wish I had refrained from sharing our name choices. Perhaps they could have exercised a bit more open-mindedness, but we were the ones who initiated the conversation. Ultimately, the decision of what to name your child should rest solely with the parents. It’s a deeply personal choice that shouldn’t be influenced by outside opinions. If I could turn back time, I would keep my chosen names entirely to myself—no discussions, no input, just a private decision between my partner and me.
For those navigating their own naming journey, be sure to explore other resources for inspiration, such as this blog on artificial insemination kits. Additionally, Intracervical Insemination offers valuable insights on the topic, and March of Dimes provides excellent guidance for pregnancy and home insemination.
Conclusion
In summary, sharing baby names before birth can lead to unexpected stress and pressure from family opinions. It’s vital for parents to feel empowered in their choices, free from outside influences.