In our cozy living room, a large wedding photo hangs prominently above the love seat where my husband, Mark, often settles in for the evening, sometimes dozing off by 10 p.m. It’s amusing to see how we both occasionally gaze at those youthful faces captured in that frame. Fifteen years of marriage really does impart wisdom, doesn’t it? The most glaring detail in that photo is how young we look; I vividly remember choosing our wedding date just days before my 26th birthday, believing that 26 was practically ancient for a wedding!
With 15 years behind us, I’ve gained some marriage insights. Life is busier than ever—we find ourselves yearning for alone time, quality moments together, individual time with each child, and family bonding. Yet, amidst the rush of work and commutes, there’s a unique beauty in this phase. I’ve come to realize something that eluded me back in that smoky bar where we first met: we’re a team. We hold each other accountable, share responsibilities, and sometimes even prop each other up. It feels like it’s us against the world—or rather, us against the kids!
In that wedding photo, I naively thought I had it all figured out. I had secured my handsome blue-eyed partner, and I assumed the hard part was behind us. Looking back, that notion seems quite foolish. While getting married can be relatively easy, maintaining a marriage is where the real challenge lies. Perhaps it’s time I acknowledge what my parents always knew.
Over the years, we’ve accumulated our fair share of baggage—experiences that only we truly understand. There were moments so challenging that I contemplated leaving, packing up the kids and my minivan, thinking we could go no further. Yet I chose to stay, to see what the next day would bring. On the flip side, we’ve also enjoyed highs where it felt like we had mastered marriage. Arguments were a thing of the past; we embraced communication, discovery, and understanding.
Our journey has been shaped by defining moments: unforeseen chronic illnesses, struggles with infertility (another transformative story), and the financial rollercoaster of life. As we embark on year 16, I look at that wedding picture and wish I could tell my younger self that the ceremony was merely the beginning of a journey that only Mark and I could fully comprehend.
There’s nothing quite like having a partner who knows you inside and out. Whether it’s making parenting choices, deciding when to leave a gathering, or planning our weekends, having an ally who understands your needs is invaluable. He knows I’ve got his back, even when I have to usher our friends out the door by 10 p.m. on New Year’s Eve because that’s when he’s “done” with socializing. It’s a relief to know we truly understand and appreciate each other.
Sometimes, I find it amusing that many people marry in their 20s. Part of me wonders if they do so out of fear of never finding someone if they wait too long. Despite my education, travels, and readings, nothing could have truly prepared me for the past 15 years. Perhaps I’m being dramatic, but it’s been a wild ride, and I’m genuinely curious about what the next 15 years hold!
For those navigating similar experiences, you might find valuable insights in our other blog post about couples’ fertility journeys. Additionally, if you’re looking for authoritative information, check out this resource on infertility treatments. For further understanding of what to expect during your first IUI, this link can be an excellent guide as you embark on your own journey.
Summary
Fifteen years of marriage have brought wisdom and understanding that only time can provide. The challenges and joys we’ve experienced together have strengthened our bond, revealing the importance of teamwork and mutual support in our relationship. As we look forward to the future, we cherish the journey we’ve undertaken and the lessons learned along the way.