As I nestled into my couch, clad in my go-to yoga pants and ready to binge-watch my recorded shows, it dawned on me that it was Saturday night. Surprisingly, I felt no pang of regret for not being out and about on what used to be considered the highlight of my week. This moment serves as a clear indicator that I’ve officially transitioned into adulthood—or more specifically, that my twenties are behind me.
I can only imagine how my 20-year-old self would react to seeing me now, sipping from a glass of wine while settling in for multiple episodes of a reality dating show. However, my current self embraces this lifestyle wholeheartedly. In truth, when I was younger, the thought of turning forty terrified me. I recall my mother throwing my father an “Over The Hill” birthday bash, complete with black decorations and a cake depicting an elderly man crawling over a green hill. That night, I vowed never to reach that milestone.
Throughout my twenties, I made grand proclamations about what I would never do at forty. I was determined to avoid becoming one of those women who spent their Saturday nights at home with nothing going on. I envisioned a life filled with travel and absolutely no minivan in sight.
Ironically, I now find joy in my choices. My 20-year-old self would likely be shocked to learn that I’ve let go of my obsession with the scale. Size 8 suits me just fine, allowing me to enjoy life’s pleasures like wine without guilt. She would be astounded to see me confidently advocating for my professional rights, completely unfazed by others’ opinions.
Additionally, my 20-year-old self would be amazed to discover that I’ve completed seven marathons. Back then, I lacked the fitness and determination I have now, but motherhood and the quest for sanity pushed me to run. She might snicker at my spacious SUV and my meticulously arranged carpool schedule, but she would surely feel a sense of relief knowing I still rock out to Jon Bon Jovi when his songs play on the radio—some things never change.
In terms of love, my younger self would find comfort in knowing I’ve built a lasting relationship after years of dating men who failed to appreciate my worth. True love, I’ve learned, means navigating the challenges of life together, like cleaning up after sick children in the middle of the night.
I won’t sugarcoat it: my younger self would probably have a good laugh at the contents of my underwear drawer, where lace and sheer fabrics have given way to practical lycra and underwire. But I’m perfectly content in my choices.
My 20-year-old self would be relieved to hear that I’m in a fortunate position, financially secure enough to spend on necessities without stress. However, she might raise an eyebrow at my definition of a splurge, which now includes a new dishwasher rather than a glamorous vacation.
She would likely be disappointed to learn that I’ve only made it to London and still haven’t travelled the globe as I had planned. She would roll her eyes at my admission that the best trip I’ve taken is a road trip to Texas with my children. It may not be Paris, but we played games and made memories that are far more valuable.
Moreover, my younger self would wish she had cherished every moment with her father, realizing too late the importance of those conversations and time spent together. She would be saddened to know he has passed.
In a lighter vein, she would be thrilled to know that Ross and Rachel end up together, but frustrated that “Seinfeld” concluded. And if she found herself at home on a Saturday night, I bet she’d jump at the chance to watch “The Bachelor” too.
Deep down, my 20-year-old self would likely recognize that my 40-year-old self is not so bad after all, and she would be pleasantly surprised to learn that confidence in intimacy only improves with age. She might even find herself looking forward to the adventure that awaits as she approaches this new chapter.
While she’s probably busy planning nights out dancing, I’ll be here on the couch, ready to welcome her when she arrives.
For those interested in home insemination, resources like the CDC offer valuable information on pregnancy and options available. If you’re searching for a home insemination kit, check out this helpful guide from our other blog post. And for festive ideas, visit this authority on the topic, who provides creative insights into making the most of the holiday spirit!
Summary:
Reflecting on my life from the perspective of my 20-year-old self reveals a surprising journey of self-acceptance and fulfillment. While I once feared the thought of growing older, I now embrace my forties with confidence and joy. My priorities have shifted from travel and nightlife to meaningful experiences with family, love, and personal growth. It’s a reminder that life’s best moments often come from unexpected places, and that aging can be a beautiful experience.