Growing up in an orthodox faith, I was instilled with the belief that my body was sacred and needed to be covered. By the age of six, I was familiar with the concept of “modesty.” To me, it translated to hemlines that just skimmed my kneecaps, or perhaps a bit higher if I was feeling daring. My shoulders were always concealed, and I avoided low-cut or snug clothing. Modesty was a visible sign of my dedication to my faith and a way to prevent men and boys from having impure thoughts.
As an adult, during my faith transition, I began to reevaluate my beliefs, yet the concept of modesty remained ambiguous. It didn’t easily fit into any category of keep, toss, or donate. I found myself grappling with ingrained thoughts each time I wore a dress that was shorter than what I was used to.
Would people judge my dress as immodest? Would they think I was revealing too much? Would they see me as making poor choices? Would I be viewed as less worthy? The weight of these thoughts haunted me, especially as I considered the impact on my children. The idea that my daughters might internalize these insecurities and that my sons could judge a girl’s worth based on her attire was troubling. Thus, I became determined to break this cycle.
The journey to untangle my self-worth from my appearance has been long and challenging, deeply rooted in the purity culture prevalent in many orthodox communities. I started to ask myself: How can I move beyond the teachings that link my value to how much of my body is covered? How can I cultivate a healthier perspective on modesty for myself and my family?
Gradually, I rewrote the narrative in my mind:
- I am not my legs.
- I am not my hemline.
- I am not my calves.
- I am not how tight my dress is or where it falls on my thigh.
- I am me—a complete person, not defined by my clothing or appearance.
- I embrace who I am and how I choose to present myself to the world.
Reflecting on my journey, I realize that I once would never have worn a mid-thigh dress, especially for family photos. But this year, I did.
For more insights into personal growth and healing, check out this related blog post. Also, if you’re looking for guidance on pregnancy and home insemination, Healthline offers excellent resources. Those exploring child development might find useful information on object permanence as well.
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Summary:
The journey of reevaluating modesty after being raised in an orthodox religion involves shedding ingrained beliefs about self-worth and appearance. Through personal reflection and a commitment to breaking harmful cycles, one can embrace a more holistic view of modesty that prioritizes personal identity over societal expectations.