During yet another mall visit last week—thanks to the relentless snow—I stumbled upon a Leapster Explorer on sale for nearly half off the original price. My curiosity was piqued. Although my daughter enjoys the multitude of puzzles, blocks, and noisy plastic toys we have, she would much prefer spending all day on the couch with her electronic gadgets.
Like many other moms, I attempt to limit her screen time throughout the week, but desperation often leads me to hand her a device for a moment of peace (like in the car, at the grocery store, during an excruciating diaper change, or on Friday evenings after my husband has missed his flight home). With a 6+ hour road trip approaching in March, the discount on a sought-after toy like the Leapster was more enticing than a soldier in uniform.
Before I made the purchase, I wanted to ensure it was a wise investment. A quick Google search led me to a lengthy essay by a woman convinced she was the next savior of parenting. While I won’t bore you with her tirade, the essence was that her children grew up devoid of toys or television and are now exceptionally well-adjusted individuals. According to her, only the devil would buy electronic toys for their kids. (Insert a dramatic eye roll here.)
With my Leapster in hand, I reflected on the multitude of questionable parenting advice I’ve encountered over the past two years. There has been no shortage of it…
- “Have a glass of wine at home.” This gem came from a high-risk technician after our five-month anatomical scan. Clearly, she underestimated my “go hard or go home” mentality.
- “Cocoa butter contains caffeine!” This advice was delivered by a sales clerk at a maternity store when I declined her 2-for-1 deal on stretch mark cream in favor of my Body Shop lotion.
- “Only take her out if she’s in a carrier.” This surprising tip came from our pediatrician. Since my daughter was too small for the Baby Bjorn at birth, it took me over three weeks to muster the courage to venture outside with her.
- “Bite back.” In response to my concerns about my daughter biting during breastfeeding, my mom’s friend suggested biting her arm—apparently, it worked for her child.
- “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” While practical, this is easily the most annoying advice to give a new mother.
- “Put her in her crib, close the door, and turn up the radio.” My grandmother received this advice when leaving the hospital with her firstborn, and she passed it along to me with a note that she never had to do this, lovey… still makes me wonder.
- “The more she’s awake during the day, the better she’ll sleep at night.” Having battled sleep issues for 11 months, I’m not even sure where to start with this one.
- “If that were my child, I’d put some whiskey in a bottle.” This is precisely why my Aunt has never been allowed to babysit my child.
- “Never let her cry.” While discussing sleep training at my grandfather’s funeral, my cousin’s wife told me I should hold my child to sleep every night, just like she did with her daughters. I was relieved when my cousin divorced her.
- “It gets better.” We all tend to say this. You see a mom with a colicky baby at the mall, and your mind flashes back to that chaotic time in your life, prompting an instinctive, “IT GETS BETTER!” directed at her screaming child. While well-intentioned, unless you can provide a timeline, it might be better to offer her a comforting squeeze instead.
What dubious advice have you received on this parenting journey?
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In summary, parenting can be fraught with unsolicited advice, much of which may not be practical or helpful. It’s essential to navigate these waters with a discerning mind and a sense of humor.