As I arrived at the Little League field with my four kids, I turned to the coach and asked about practice schedules. After all, I’m that mom who’s blissfully unaware until the season kicks off.
“Practices are on Wednesday evenings,” he replied.
“Wednesday nights?” I echoed. “You won’t see me then. That’s date night. You’ll be meeting my partner, the babysitter.”
“Seriously?” he shot back, a hint of sarcasm in his tone.
“Absolutely. And trust me, it’s far better than considering divorce.”
And you know what? It really is.
I understand that planning a date night might seem like a luxury. Finding a babysitter, putting on a little makeup, and donning clothing that isn’t stained by food or kid-related messes can feel like a chore. It requires both partners to carve out a night amidst the chaos of work, school commitments, and endless laundry. Plus, let’s not forget the cost—dining out is pricier than the meals we could enjoy at home, and paying for a sitter adds up quickly.
Yet, I firmly believe that the investment in date night is a fraction of what a divorce would cost.
To me, date night is vital for my marriage. Fifteen years ago, I married a man I clicked with right from the start—we even met in art school! Back then, we would embark on spontaneous adventures with a loaf of bread, cheese, and wine, enjoying the outdoors while sharing our dreams.
Fast forward to now, and our lives are filled with responsibilities. We’ve created four wonderful kids, and each day is packed with work obligations, household chores, and financial commitments. We’ve evolved into different people over the years, and amidst the busyness of adult life, it’s easy to lose sight of that connection we once had.
Let’s be clear—PTA meetings, kids’ activities, or bowling leagues do not count as date night. Date night is sacred; it’s about reconnecting with your partner, the one with whom you’ve built a life and family. It’s the promise that you don’t need to explore any other contracts, like divorce papers.
Every Wednesday, I cherish the time I get to spend with my husband. Whether we dine at our favorite restaurant or grab burgers from the local dive and enjoy them on the beach, it’s our time to be together.
In earlier times, people may not have felt the need for date nights. They were busy with daily survival, and their lifespans were shorter. But for many of us, the challenge is to maintain our connection over decades—maybe even 80 years!
So, mark it on your calendar. Make it a priority. If hiring a babysitter isn’t feasible, swap childcare duties with a friend who also craves a date night. Even a simple picnic in your backyard can work wonders. It’s still a date night.
If all goes as planned, in 15 years, our children will be pursuing their own paths. And who will be left? Just us. If we nurture our relationship now, we’ll still have those cherished date nights in the future.
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In summary, date night is not just a luxury; it’s a necessity for maintaining a healthy relationship. By making time for each other, we’re investing in our future together.