“Why am I here?” This question often echoes in the minds of new mothers embarking on the rollercoaster ride of postpartum life, or as I like to call it, mommy boot camp. These are the moms navigating through exhaustion and the whirlwind of shifting hormones. They struggle with simple tasks like showering, wrestling with feelings of inadequacy regarding breastfeeding, and battling the internal dialogue of self-judgment about their bodies.
Amidst the chaos of caring for a newborn around the clock, it’s easy to become overwhelmed and lose sight of your own health and wellness. This can lead some new mothers to face the resurgence of eating disorders or feelings of depression. The first step I guide new moms toward in their postpartum journey is to ensure they don’t abandon themselves while caring for others. Remember, not giving up doesn’t mean you leap out of bed with excitement at dawn; it means finding a way to include yourself in your daily routine, even if it’s just a little.
Self-care looks different for everyone, and it can shift day by day. It typically involves two key components: a proactive step and a tone of unwavering compassion toward oneself.
For instance, the other day, after dropping my child off at preschool, I headed to a cafe to meet a colleague and do some writing (which is my version of self-care). However, when I reached for my laptop in my bag, it was nowhere to be found. I rummaged through my belongings—nothing but a coloring page and a star-shaped cutout made by my little one, along with a pink pen.
In that moment, a familiar voice within me spoke up: “Nope. You’re not giving up on self-care today.” It was the same nurturing voice I’ve used to encourage clients navigating the challenges of motherhood or recovery. It reminded me that while I could easily default to neglecting my needs, I had the power to pursue my passion for writing even with limited resources. Channeling my inner Tim Gunn, I decided to “make it work.”
And guess what? I produced some decent content! It may not have been my best work, but it was sufficient given the circumstances. Remember, whether you’re a new mom or feeling overwhelmed with self-care routines, it’s essential to show up for yourself. You don’t have to excel; just being present is enough.
Maintain that vital connection with yourself, just as you do with your child. Be your own fierce protector. And if you’re a perfectionist, remember to lower the bar. As I’ve learned, it’s beneficial to underpromise and overdeliver.
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In summary, prioritizing your self-care as a mother is essential. Embrace small actions with compassion and be kind to yourself during this transformative time.