Language is one of our most powerful tools. It can heal, comfort, and connect, but it can also harm, divide, and alienate. A single word or phrase can create an inclusive space or shut it down entirely. This is especially true in the delicate experiences surrounding pregnancy and childbirth, where the language used needs to be mindful, inclusive, and affirming.
Pregnancy Is Not Limited to “Goddesses”
When people think of pregnancy, they often envision women, wives, and mothers. While it’s true that many women can become pregnant, this perspective is limited. Transgender men and nonbinary individuals also experience pregnancy. Furthermore, the assumption that all pregnant individuals are heterosexual, coupled, or married is simply false. Many people, including single parents and queer couples, navigate the journey to parenthood outside traditional norms.
I remember attending a birth class with my previous partner, where the instructor repeatedly referred to the non-pregnant partner as “Dad.” As a non-male participant, this felt alienating. Despite my attempts to correct her, she continued to mislabel me, creating an uncomfortable atmosphere for everyone involved. Such experiences highlight the importance of seeking out medical providers and birth workers who prioritize inclusive language. If a practice’s materials lean toward gendered or heteronormative terms, it signals that queer and transgender individuals may not receive the care they deserve.
Using inclusive language like “pregnant person,” “birthing person,” or “partner(s)” isn’t about being overly sensitive—it’s about fostering an environment where everyone feels acknowledged. Adjusting our language can help create a welcoming space for all individuals.
Birth Is Not Always “Natural”
Pregnancy can occur through various methods, and there is no singular “natural” way to give birth. The phrase “Did you get pregnant the old-fashioned way?” implies that only heterosexual couples can conceive through intercourse, ignoring many who use assisted reproductive technologies. There should be no stigma attached to those who rely on sperm donors, egg donors, IUI, or IVF to achieve pregnancy.
When it comes to childbirth, the priority should always be the safety of the pregnant individual and the child. While some take pride in having a “natural birth,” implying that vaginal or unmedicated births are superior only perpetuates stigma against those who opt for epidurals or cesareans. Each birth experience is valid, and no one should feel disheartened by how their child was brought into the world. Remember, your body achieved something incredible by bringing a child into existence.
Breastfeeding Isn’t the Only Option
The debate surrounding breastfeeding often overshadows the reality that the best choice is what works for each family. A well-fed child is what truly matters. Not everyone has the ability or desire to breastfeed, and that’s completely valid. Some transgender individuals may have undergone surgeries that preclude breastfeeding, while others may simply choose to bottle-feed for various reasons. Pressure to breastfeed can create unnecessary stress for new parents, while love and bonding can occur regardless of how feeding is accomplished.
Language has the power to either invite dialogue or create barriers. As we discuss pregnancy and childbirth, it’s essential our words evolve to encompass all experiences.
For more insights, check out this blog post and learn more about how to navigate your journey. Additionally, resources such as Intracervical Insemination provide authoritative information on parenting topics, while Johns Hopkins Medicine offers excellent resources for those considering IVF and home insemination.
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In summary, as we engage in discussions about pregnancy and childbirth, it’s crucial to use language that is inclusive and respectful of all identities and experiences. By doing so, we can create a supportive environment for everyone involved.