According to NPR, only 13% of mothers successfully breastfeed exclusively for six months, which is the recommended duration for their baby’s health. I consider myself fortunate; of my three kids, I breastfed the first two for over a year and a half, and my daughter is currently four months old, thriving on breastmilk. My journey with breastfeeding hasn’t been without its challenges, though. From cracked nipples to thrush, I’ve faced it all but remained determined. While the road hasn’t always been smooth, it’s been worth every moment for both my children and me.
So please, just stop asking when I’ll give my breastfed baby a bottle. I really can’t comprehend why people feel the need to voice their opinions. Ever since I first took her out in public, someone has asked, “Haven’t you started giving her a bottle yet?” Did I mention she’s only four months old?
What do you think, I forgot my nipples at home? What could a bottle offer her that I can’t provide right here, right now? I don’t use a bottle while I’m with her simply because it’s unnecessary. There are plenty of ways to bond with a baby that don’t involve feeding them, so let’s find something else to talk about.
In the rare instances when I’ve left her, she’s surprisingly taken the bottle without any fuss. However, introducing a breastfed baby to bottles involves several considerations. There’s the risk of nipple confusion and the need for pace feeding. We must also find a bottle she’ll accept. It’s not as straightforward as it may seem! Honestly, I’m more focused on maintaining my mental health than worrying about how you might feel about my breastfeeding choices.
Let’s not even get started on the difficulties Black women face with breastfeeding. According to the CDC, Black mothers often encounter unique challenges, including a quicker return to work, limited breastfeeding education from healthcare providers, and reduced access to professional support. Additionally, the painful history of slavery and forced breastfeeding adds another layer of complexity. So, shaming me for wanting to feed my own child? Not happening.
Moreover, many women of color are primary earners and are compelled to return to work sooner due to inadequate maternity leave in the U.S. This means they often can’t breastfeed long enough to establish a solid routine. I went back to work when my second son was just seven weeks old. Thankfully, I had the flexibility to pump at work, albeit often in my car, since many workplaces lack proper facilities. As a young Black mom, I’ve faced some baffling conversations about breastfeeding. I once had a coworker claim they weren’t breastfed because it “felt gay.” This is just another example of the over-sexualization of Black bodies.
All of this is to say that as mothers, we already have enough hurdles to overcome. We worry about whether our babies are eating enough and gaining weight appropriately. We constantly think about our diets and how they affect our milk supply. Should we take fenugreek? How much Body Armor is safe to consume? Am I dealing with mastitis or just a clogged duct?
Breastfeeding is hard work. I don’t need unsolicited opinions from the sidelines, especially when they contradict my long-term goals.
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Summary:
Breastfeeding can be a rewarding yet challenging journey, especially for mothers facing societal pressures and personal obstacles. As a mother who has successfully breastfed her children, I urge others to respect my choices without judgment. The focus should be on supporting and understanding the complexities surrounding breastfeeding rather than questioning my decisions.