March 26, 2018
In recent weeks, I’ve found myself in several uncomfortable situations where I was uncertain about the appropriate course of action.
In one instance, my child was accidentally injured by a friend’s child—hit in the head with a rock, to be exact. Should I intervene? I recognized it was an accident, and the child responsible was visibly remorseful. Despite my inclination to speak up, I hesitated.
In another scenario, I learned about a teenager, the child of an acquaintance I see regularly, engaging in risky and illegal behavior. This news troubled me deeply, as I would be devastated if it were my own child. What should I do? Speak up or remain silent?
If I were in either position, I would want to be informed. I believe many parents encounter these dilemmas, unsure whether to voice their concerns. So let me be clear:
If my child throws a rock and accidentally injures yours, I want you to let me know—regardless of whether it was intentional. If my child speaks to you in a disrespectful manner, please tell me. Should you discover that my child is experimenting with drugs, I want to hear about it. If you see my child in a questionable location or suspect they may have been drinking at a party, please inform me. If you are aware that my child has lied to me or is displaying bullying behavior, I want to know.
Furthermore, if my child is engaging in sexual activity, using inappropriate language in front of others, or associating with individuals involved in dangerous activities, please bring it to my attention. If there’s anything else concerning about my child’s behavior, I encourage you to speak up.
And if you ever find anything amiss about me—like if my mascara has smudged, my skirt is tucked in an awkward place, or even if my zipper is down—please don’t hesitate to inform me.
If you’re uncertain about how to approach me regarding these matters, just refer to our previous conversation where I mentioned that I’d appreciate being notified if my child were acting out.
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In summary, I value open communication regarding any behavior that may be concerning. It helps us all ensure the well-being of our children.