My condition is chronic and incurable. I have to monitor my blood sugar multiple times a day, accurately dose my insulin, and meticulously track every carbohydrate I consume.
Honestly, managing my illness is draining. When I’m not checking my blood sugar, I’m on the phone with the insurance company disputing yet another outrageous medical bill. If I’m not administering insulin to correct high readings, I’m analyzing my morning workout and pondering its effects on my health for the rest of the day. Instead of enjoying my meal, I’m often bombarded with questions about whether I should even indulge in that slice of pizza.
Keeping my blood sugar stable is crucial; failure to do so could lead to severe long-term complications, including vision loss, amputations, kidney failure, increased cancer risk, cardiovascular issues, anxiety, and a host of other challenges. It’s a heavy burden to bear, knowing that each decision I make—whether it’s about sleep, diet, exercise, or insulin—could be a matter of life or death.
You wouldn’t guess by looking at me that I live with Type 1 diabetes. I appear much like any other mom: hair in a messy bun, comfortable yoga pants, and coffee in hand. I manage my children’s activities, wipe their noses, and balance my self-employed writing career filled with emails, laundry, brainstorming, and sibling squabbles. When my husband gets home at 6 p.m., the evening chaos begins, and if we’re fortunate, we might collapse on the couch by 9:00 to watch some mindless TV. On the surface, I seem perfectly normal.
When people discover my condition—either from seeing my insulin pump or observing me check my blood sugar—they often respond with a predictable array of questions and comments. I hear tragic tales of relatives who faced dire consequences due to poor management, or I’m asked if I can simply take pills instead. Many express disbelief at the thought of injecting themselves, while others critique my food choices or assume that I can never have sugar. Well-meaning friends may try to sell me miracle products or share links to articles about potential cures. Some even say, “At least it’s not cancer!” Others lean in and whisper, “Are you doing OK?” or “Are your blood sugars stable?”
Managing blood sugar levels feels as challenging as preventing a toddler from throwing a tantrum over losing their iPhone. Since my pancreas no longer produces insulin, I have to assume that responsibility myself, which means I’m constantly vigilant.
The stress from living with a chronic illness is unlike anything I’ve encountered before. It breeds worry, confusion, frustration, and restlessness. Yet, my condition has also instilled in me resilience, courage, determination, and a new sense of prioritization. The concept of balance takes on a different meaning when you’re fighting for your life daily.
As a person living with diabetes, there are certain things I don’t need. I’m not interested in overpriced “sugar-free, all-natural” drink mixes (spoiler: they don’t cure me). I don’t want to hear about your aunt who went blind or how awesome your sister’s acupuncturist is. And please, spare me the pitying whispers asking if I’m OK. These conversations only serve to remind me of my struggles and make me feel inadequate.
Instead, let me share what would truly help. When I was hospitalized after my diagnosis, a friend came to visit. I was curled up in an uncomfortable bed, underweight and bruised from constant needle sticks. My feet felt uncomfortable due to the effects of prolonged high blood sugar. I was in a rough spot.
This friend did something incredibly meaningful. Rather than asking how I was (it was obvious), bringing a cheery card, or probing about my diagnosis, she simply sat at the end of my bed and rubbed my feet. Her message was clear: I care. I’m here for you. I’m not doing this for any personal gain.
If you have a friend dealing with a chronic condition, find a simple, caring gesture to show your support. Bring them a surprise cup of coffee on a gloomy day. Send a funny card that will make them smile during tough times. Text them to remind them of their strength and resilience. Ask, “How can I make your day a little better?” and genuinely follow through.
Please don’t waste your energy feeling sorry for me. Stand beside me, fight with me, and yes, send me coffee.
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Summary:
Living with Type 1 diabetes presents numerous daily challenges, from constant monitoring of blood sugar levels to the stress of managing healthcare logistics. Society often responds with pity or unsolicited advice, which can be disheartening. Instead of sympathy, support through simple gestures, understanding, and encouragement is far more valuable. A true friend offers presence and care, rather than reminders of illness.