By: Jamie Taylor
Updated: Oct. 3, 2023
Originally Published: Oct. 3, 2023
The other day, I found myself at the butcher shop, searching for a particular cut of beef for my renowned pot roast. This dish is a cherished family recipe that I’ve mastered over the years, and I confidently consider myself an expert on it. Admitting that feels oddly uncomfortable, but it’s true.
I approached the counter, requested the meat, and anticipated a straightforward transaction—after all, that’s how these things are meant to work, right? Instead, the male butcher inquired about what I planned to use it for (as if it were any of his business) and then proceeded to lecture me on the intricacies of the meat for a full five minutes.
He rambled on about how to use it and what I should or shouldn’t do. Finally, I received the cut I wanted, but I left the store feeling frustrated and wishing I could have just told him where to shove his unsolicited advice.
I understand, Mr. Butcher, that you’re the expert in your field, but I am fully aware of what I wanted and didn’t require your explanation. This letter is for you and all the other mansplainers out there.
Dear Mansplainers,
I recognize that as a woman, I might not always dominate conversations in professional settings. I tend to apologize often, self-censor, and use filler words like “um” and “like” more frequently than you do. Research suggests this behavior stems from a lower threshold for what I find offensive compared to you. I admit this can make me come across as a pushover, but I’m working on it. That’s the last time I’ll apologize for it.
However, you must stop with the mansplaining. The term “mansplaining” was introduced by Rebecca Solnit in her 2008 essay, Men Explain Things To Me. It encapsulates what happens when you, as a man, go on at length because you assume I can’t comprehend something simply because I’m a woman.
For example, as a mother of two, you probably wouldn’t be in a position to explain childbirth to me. Or breastfeeding a baby piranha. Or the reasons behind my feelings and how to manage them. Yet, men have attempted to enlighten me on all these topics over the years.
Mansplaining is essentially the male ego amplified, eager to share its opinions even when I have already demonstrated my knowledge on the subject. I’ve experienced this at writing conferences, while driving, in classrooms, in butcher shops, and far too many times during my years working in healthcare. Male doctors often feel the need to tell female physical therapists, like myself, how best to facilitate movement, even though that is my area of expertise.
Sometimes, even my husband unintentionally mansplains. After 15 years of marriage, I know he doesn’t do it intentionally. For instance, if I express that I’m feeling down, he often responds with a lengthy explanation about how exercising more or getting more sleep would help, followed by a detailed plan of how I can improve. This approach rarely goes well, as I don’t need a lecture; I just want to express how I’m feeling.
So, to all the mansplainers, please understand that my brain functions just fine. I possess knowledge on many subjects, even if I don’t always vocalize it loudly.
I’ve been navigating this world for 40 years, and if I want your input on my pot roast, I will ask for it.
Thank you,
Women Everywhere
For additional insights and support on various topics, check out this resource and this one. If you’re interested in pregnancy-related information, you might find this site helpful.