Having lived through the tumultuous 2016 election, I can attest to the grim reality of “internalized misogyny.” I witnessed countless women step into voting booths armed with the metaphorical matches to ignite the last five decades of hard-won progress. It was disheartening to see them reject Women’s Equality, effectively pushing us all to the back of the line, waiting for our voices to be silenced for the next few years. (Spoiler alert: That’s not going to happen.)
After the chaos of last November, I went through a range of emotions—initially furious, then numb as a defensive mechanism. Nothing seems to surprise me anymore. That is, until a friend sent me a link to a Facebook page that left me utterly baffled.
“Can you believe this woman?” she asked, and I assumed it was a rhetorical question until I clicked through. The page belongs to someone calling herself “The Transformed Wife,” a title that might as well be “A Steaming Pile of Self-Loathing,” as it appears she has mastered the art of internal oppression.
What her beliefs were prior to this so-called transformation is unclear, but her current persona resembles a caricature from a 1960s sitcom—think of the quintessential housewife with perfectly coiffed hair and a smile, all while balancing a turkey. It’s a punchline that no one actually subscribes to anymore, right? Wrong.
Enter “The Transformed Wife,” who questions why women invest in higher education when they should be focused on being “keepers at home” with “meek and quiet spirits.” The idea that they shouldn’t demand anything from their husbands but instead live in submission is baffling, yet she’s serious about it.
This woman has taken it upon herself to advocate for traditional gender roles so vehemently that she targets everyone from college students to working mothers—essentially anyone who dares to reject submission. It’s disheartening to witness a woman using scripture to justify marital rape, but here we are.
Her page is a cesspool of harmful misogyny, propped up by a twisted version of Christianity that I, as a believer, can’t fathom. Yet, alarmingly, she has a devoted following.
For those who might find this hard to believe—surely no one could genuinely endorse such views—I present Exhibit A: a justification for tolerating marital rape. Exhibit B: a question about why women think they might know more than men. Exhibit C: an inquiry into whether a woman should stay home even if she’s more educated than her partner, with the answer being a resounding “yes, get back in the kitchen.”
There are countless more examples, but I’m sidetracked by the reminder that, sometimes, women need to be reminded of their roles.
I used to wonder why feminists were so upset. Now, it’s clear: with the wage gap, alarming domestic violence statistics, and skyrocketing childcare costs, fighting for gender equality is exhausting. And sometimes, we find ourselves battling against women who actively choose oppression.
I pondered why “The Transformed Wife” has garnered such a large following and realized that some of her sentiments resonate with others. Wrapped in relatable narratives, her message of religious oppression finds a way to connect.
Some women find joy in traditional roles, supporting their husbands and raising families, and they deserve recognition for that. Simultaneously, career-driven women find fulfillment in their professions and also deserve applause. Ultimately, what we want as feminists is for every woman to have the opportunity to pursue her happiness without limitations. Even if that means allowing voices like “The Transformed Wife” to share their misguided views. (Yes, we marched for her too.)
Perhaps one day she’ll wake up from the patriarchal cage she’s built for herself. And when she does, she might just realize that feminists were the ones who held the keys all along.
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In summary, the existence of women like “The Transformed Wife” illustrates the ongoing need for feminism. It highlights the importance of empowering all women to seek their own paths, free from societal constraints.