As parents of girls, it’s crucial to recognize that it’s not your role to instruct your daughters on how to dress or navigate a world that often imposes harmful expectations on them. You shouldn’t feel obligated to advise them against “too sexy” outfits or to warn them about the dangers of parties, drinking, and hookup culture. It is not your duty to teach them how to avoid walking alone at night or to keep their heads down while using public transport. They shouldn’t have to modify their behavior to evade harassment or unwanted attention.
For too long, society has placed the onus on women and girls to manage and mitigate the inappropriate and often violent behaviors exhibited by some men. Young girls are conditioned to see themselves as potential victims, constantly on alert for threats, whether it’s avoiding certain streets or relying on the protection of friends while out.
As a mother of two boys, I’ve begun to reflect on how I can shape their understanding of gender dynamics and respect. While it’s easy to think that parenting plays a limited role in a child’s behavior, the truth is that the environment—friends, the media, and society at large—also influences their attitudes toward women.
It is important to acknowledge that young men face their own vulnerabilities. The thought of anything happening to my sons is distressing, and I support efforts to destigmatize male victimization in the context of sexual abuse. However, since women are disproportionately the victims of sexual violence, we must encourage our fellow parents of boys to take a proactive stance.
We must educate our sons about consent and respect. It’s vital to teach them that “no means no,” and that “yes doesn’t always mean yes.” We need to convey that seeing a girl who is intoxicated as an easy target is unacceptable. Harassment, even when disguised as compliments, must be addressed. They should learn that no one should be touched without explicit consent, and that gifts or gestures do not obligate a woman to reciprocate sexually.
Furthermore, behaviors like pulling hair, snapping bras, or pinching butts are never amusing. We must emphasize that a man’s reputation should never overshadow a woman’s dignity. It’s our responsibility to teach our sons to stand against harmful behaviors, whether they are instigated by their friends or not. Sharing private pictures and engaging in slut-shaming only perpetuates a culture that devalues women.
By improving our boys’ understanding and behavior, we can alleviate the burden placed upon girls and women. The outdated attitude of “boys will be boys” must be challenged. We need to confront any sense of entitlement our sons might hold, as it shapes their perceptions of women and their roles in society.
When I see the memes featuring fathers threatening boys who might hurt their daughters, I feel a mix of sadness and anger. It highlights a troubling narrative where boys are seen as predators and girls as perpetual victims, which unfortunately remains true for many. But it’s time for change.
Let us commit, as parents of boys, to raise them to be respectful and empathetic. This way, their female peers, family members, and colleagues can live free from the fear of harassment and violence.
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In summary, it is our collective responsibility to educate our sons to treat women with kindness and respect, ensuring that our daughters no longer need to take on the burden of their safety.