“How can I give my child a cracker when he might choke on something the same size?”
“How can she chew fruit without any teeth?”
“She gagged on a cracker, so she’s not ready!”
“It’s too risky…”
I understand that many of you feel anxious about offering your little ones foods that fit comfortably in their small hands. After all, you spend countless hours ensuring they don’t put tiny objects in their mouths, fearing the dangers of choking.
This anxiety is completely valid. As a feeding therapist and a parent who has walked this journey with friends, I’ve heard your concerns. I see the worry in your eyes when I suggest introducing solid foods, like a piece of fruit or a cracker, for the first time. I hold your hand and encourage you as you watch your child engage with new textures and tastes. It’s a daunting experience, no doubt.
However, it’s crucial to differentiate between fear and actual danger. I may not be a parent myself, but I have witnessed choking up close. When I was a teenager, I saw my uncle choke on a piece of steak at a family dinner. The panic was overwhelming, but thankfully, a family friend knew the Heimlich maneuver and saved him.
You might wonder why I share such a harrowing experience while urging you not to worry about choking. First, it’s to acknowledge that your fears are genuine and real. Second, I strongly encourage you to take a first-aid and CPR course so you’ll be prepared in the event of an emergency. Third, choking can occur at any age, but certain situations increase the risk. While you’re apprehensive about giving your one-year-old a cracker, I’m more concerned about your three-year-old running with a handful of grapes or munching on fruit snacks while playing.
To minimize your child’s choking risk, I recommend a simple rule: they should sit while eating. Whether it’s a snack or a meal, children should be seated. Your toddler can enjoy snacks, but not while zooming around. Your preschooler might want to munch on a carrot like a bunny, but not while hopping. They can sit on your lap, a park bench, or the ground—just make sure they are seated.
I get it—kids often resist rules, especially those that adults don’t seem to follow. While you could try to enforce a sit-and-eat policy at home (which might even turn into a trendy diet), it might not be practical in our busy lives. Adults have already mastered the art of eating, but children are still learning.
Eating requires significant cognitive effort and attention before it becomes second nature. Your child needs to concentrate on eating and develop the oral motor skills necessary for chewing and swallowing. Like any complex physical activity, mastering these skills takes practice.
Children must experiment with various food textures and sizes to learn how to control their tongue and navigate food safely. If your child doesn’t experience solid foods until they are 16 months old, they won’t automatically know how to manage them just because they’re older. They need hands-on practice to develop these crucial skills, leading to safer eating and a lower risk of choking.
Understand that this learning process won’t always be smooth. Much like learning to ride a bike, there will be spills and accidents. Your child may gag, spit, or even vomit—however, gagging is not the same as choking. It’s a natural and protective reflex.
When you introduce a new food and your child begins to gag, try to stay calm and allow them to work through it before rushing in to help. Maintain a positive demeanor, as your child is likely to respond to your emotions. There’s a wealth of research indicating how sensitive children are to their parents’ feelings (check out the studies by Laura James to learn more). Your facial expressions can influence their willingness to try new foods.
I know that the journey of feeding can feel overwhelming, and I deeply respect your efforts and dedication to your child’s well-being. Remember, you are not alone in this. Don’t hesitate to seek support from family, friends, or neighbors when introducing new foods to your child. Engaging with other parents about their experiences can also provide valuable insights. For more in-depth information, consider reaching out to a feeding therapist like me, as it truly takes a village.
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In summary, while the fear of choking is understandable, it is vital to equip your child with the skills and experience they need to eat safely. Encouraging them to try new foods while sitting down will help them gain the necessary practice. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey—seek support, stay positive, and trust the process.