Let’s be real—there are days when I feel like I’m failing at this whole parenting gig. My kids have dubbed me the “meanest mom” for denying them endless Xbox time, while the so-called “experts” claim I’m ruining my children by allowing them to stay up late and putting them in time-outs. Not to mention the judgment from other parents when I let my kids walk to school alone or feed them non-organic snacks.
And of course, the harshest critic? That persistent voice in my head, critiquing everything I do.
Through all this, one person stands out as my unwavering support and source of encouragement: my husband, Tom. His validation means the world to me. From the beginning, we knew we had to be a united front while raising our little ones. Kids have a knack for sniffing out any discord like sharks smelling blood, and they’ll exploit any weakness they find. Hence, most of our parenting disagreements happen behind closed doors.
But it’s not just about keeping our disagreements private; it’s also about how we interact with each other in front of our kids. Tom consistently goes out of his way to praise me in front of them, and while I’d like to think it’s solely for my benefit, I realize he’s also setting a powerful example for our children.
Just a few weeks ago, we were driving home from a baseball game when a sudden storm hit. Tom’s reaction made it seem like I had just completed a monumental task by getting us home safely. “Isn’t your mom incredible?” he kept saying. “Driving in this weather is tough; thank you for getting us home!” His effusive praise was almost embarrassing at first, but then something wonderful happened—our kids started showering me with compliments too. They praised my singing (despite my tone-deafness), thanked me for their favorite snacks, and expressed gratitude for the laundry I’d done. I couldn’t help but smile, even if it was just for a fleeting moment.
Tom’s acknowledgment of my efforts, whether small like driving through rain or big like publishing a book, serves several purposes. It shows our children the love and respect that exists between us, teaching them the importance of appreciating their partner in life. For our two boys, it models how to treat women with equality, respect, and admiration. Plus, it reinforces my role within the family.
Although Tom is the primary breadwinner, his words remind everyone that my contributions—financial and otherwise—are just as significant. As the main caregiver, I’m the one who gets the kids ready for the day, keeps their schedules organized, and reminds them to brush their teeth. Over time, my voice can blend into background noise, but Tom’s praises serve as a reminder that I am not merely a housekeeper; I am their mother, a force to be reckoned with!
Parenting is undeniably challenging, yet rewarding, and we all need someone to affirm that we’re doing a fantastic job—be it through a kind word during a hectic day or recognition of our efforts. Praise from a partner can act like a much-needed pat on the back when self-doubt creeps in.
I also recognize that I should do a better job of acknowledging Tom in front of our kids. He deserves just as much appreciation, and let’s face it—dads need that boost too. In the hustle of daily life, we often forget to recognize the importance of the small things, like the gratitude expressed during a rainy drive home.
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Summary:
Celebrating your partner in front of your children is essential for fostering respect and admiration in the family unit. When parents praise each other, it models healthy relationships for kids and reinforces the significance of each role within the family. Simple acts of recognition, even during stressful moments, can have a profound impact on both the parents and children.