Certain events are permanently etched in our minds. January 28, 1986, marked the tragic explosion of the space shuttle Challenger. A random evening in the fall of 1987 was when I experienced my first real kiss. November 4, 2008, was a momentous day when our nation elected its first African American President. And then, there was a summer day in 1995 when I had the startling realization that my father was not the invincible figure I had always imagined.
For everyone, the timing of this realization varies, but the emotions—shock, confusion, disappointment, and even resentment—are universal. They come together in a whirlwind when it finally sinks in that our parents are, in fact, just people. People who happen to have children.
From the moment we are born, our parents are our entire world. They cradle our tiny, vulnerable bodies and cater to our every whim. In our eyes, moms and dads are superheroes, endowed with the incredible ability to answer our endless questions and manage the daily chaos that surrounds us. When these seemingly superhuman beings show their human flaws, it can feel like an earthquake shaking our foundations.
When I first recognized that my dad was just an ordinary person, I felt betrayed. I had placed him on an unattainable pedestal, believing he could do no wrong. As I matured, my perspective shifted; now, as a parent myself, I appreciate that no one enters the realm of parenthood fully prepared. The books and tales from friends do little to equip us for the messy, exhausting journey ahead. We bring our own complexities and shortcomings into parenting; they don’t vanish when we have children.
I strive to be genuine with my kids. Perhaps it’s because I’m a single mother, with the tangled nature of my life always on display. Or maybe I’m simply trying to soften the inevitable realization that I am not perfect. I want them to see me for who I truly am. The more they understand me as a person, the less devastating my flaws will be when they inevitably surface.
I am a friend, a sister, a daughter, a partner, a writer, a fitness enthusiast, and a runner. I relish laughter, enjoy good food, and cherish lazy weekends. I like to bake, dive into creative projects, and organize my home. Like anyone, I can get cranky when I’m hungry or when my partner is late, and I have little patience for noisy children. I have unfulfilled dreams and adventures yet to embark on. Yet, above all titles, being a mother is the greatest joy of my life.
While “mom” is my favorite role, I am ultimately just a person navigating life with two kids. The sooner they accept this reality, the healthier our relationship will be.
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Summary:
The realization that parents are human can be a shocking moment for children. As they grow, it’s important for them to see their parents as relatable individuals, complete with flaws and complexities. This understanding fosters healthier relationships as they accept that no one is perfect, including their parents.