Updated: Aug. 18, 2021
Originally Published: Aug. 18, 2021
My son, Ethan, is autistic. From the moment I first held him, he filled my heart with an indescribable joy. I realized that my life would be forever changed because of him. From day one, it was clear he was different from my firstborn. It was one of the first things I shared with friends and family when they asked about him.
For over five years, Ethan has navigated his unique space in this vast world, dancing to a rhythm that’s entirely his own. He might not resemble many other children his age, but he is exactly who he’s meant to be.
When people think of raising an autistic child, the challenges often come to mind. Many are unaware of autism beyond what they’ve seen on exaggerated TV shows or exploitative blogs where parents reveal their children’s most intimate struggles to highlight how tough autism can be for them. (Let’s not even go there.)
As a parent of a child with special needs, I’ve become increasingly aware of how often society views my son solely through the lens of his differences. While accommodations for his needs are essential for his success, it can also be disheartening to see others consistently underestimate him. Often, he’s seen as “Ethan with Autism” instead of just “Ethan Thomas, incredible kid.”
While raising a child who is not typically developing presents different challenges, it also introduces beauty into my life that many might overlook.
If you’ll join me, I’d love to share a few ways that having an autistic child has made my life richer—and I believe my story will resonate with other parents in similar situations.
We Have Countless Reasons to Celebrate.
Ethan has put in tremendous effort to learn to communicate. As a toddler, we explored various methods of communication, but he was steadfast in his desire to talk. He has been in speech therapy for most of his life, and now he can chat all day. We’ve cheered for him at every milestone with laughter, hugs, happy dances, and even pizza parties!
Recently, he proudly exclaimed, “I did it! I said Cwlementine!” after mastering the “L” sound. Every small victory is a reason for us to clap and celebrate. While every parent finds joy in their child’s achievements, it feels even more special when your child has to work so hard for those moments.
Parenting an Autistic Child Has Made Me More Adaptable.
Ethan has shown me that there are numerous ways to approach tasks, and my method isn’t the only one. I’ve always preferred efficiency and structure, but Ethan thrives on doing things his way. He often embraces spontaneity, making it a joy to adapt our routines.
I’ve learned to be a more relaxed parent, which benefits all my children. If Ethan wants to enjoy a bath before dinner, who am I to argue? If he insists on having popcorn at 7 a.m., why not? Accommodating his quirks has become second nature, and honestly, it often leads to adorable moments.
My Child Never Lies—A Double-Edged Sword.
Ethan is refreshingly honest. I can always count on him to confess if he flushed a toy down the toilet or spilled juice on the dog (sorry, Clemmie!). His honesty means he’ll point out if you have something in your teeth or if he thinks you look sad. We’re working on his understanding of social niceties, but it’s a blessing to know that when Ethan expresses love, he genuinely means it.
His doctors once doubted he would grasp emotional cues, yet his empathy is boundless. He truly cares about the happiness and safety of those around him.
My Autistic Child Sees Wonder in Everyday Life.
A common trait among many with autism is a distinct sensory perception. While Ethan sometimes struggles with overwhelming stimuli, he also finds joy in the little things.
He can sit for hours, completely engrossed in observing ants navigating their tiny world. When I ask what he’s doing, he simply replies, “Looking.” His ability to appreciate the mundane reminds me that beauty often lies in the details.
Parenting any child is a mix of joy and challenges, sprinkled with a hefty dose of “worth it.” With a child who is different, the difficulties vary, but the joy remains unwavering—or perhaps just a touch sweeter.
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In summary, parenting an autistic child has transformed my life in countless beautiful ways. While challenges are inherent, the joy and love that come from these experiences far outweigh them.