Let me be clear: I adored those snuggly little ones, freshly bathed and wrapped in their cozy pajamas. I cherished the thrill of chasing them through stores while they squealed with laughter, or watching them marvel at leaves, bugs, and the little wonders of the world that adults often overlook. There was immense joy in being a mom to babies, toddlers, and preschoolers. But it was undeniably exhausting, and part of me longed for a time when I could close my bedroom door or lose myself in a book without constant worry about what they might be getting into.
And now, that time has arrived.
While I sometimes reminisce about simply being able to scoop them up and distract them from a tantrum with a game of peek-a-boo, I realize that the nostalgia often blinds us to the present. We tend to yearn for the future, and when we arrive, we miss the moments that have already passed.
However, this new phase is not what I anticipated. I had preconceived notions about parenting teenagers, having been just 16 when my first child was born. I thought I knew the mistakes to avoid, but as it turns out, I was mistaken. The truth is, teenagers are tough. The tween years can be even more challenging than toddlerhood. Sorry to break it to you, but the myth that parenting gets easier as kids grow up is just that—a myth.
My eldest is now in college, and I’ve managed to sidestep many of the typical teenage issues. She hasn’t protested about curfews, never came home drunk, and has generally been a delight. I’m proud of her—she’s a remarkable individual with her own identity. While her grades could improve, I am deeply proud of the woman she’s shaping into.
I feel the same pride for all my children. They’re good kids, excelling in school and mostly staying out of trouble. But no one ever told me that as kids get older, parenting becomes increasingly difficult. Those moments when my youngest came home from school in tears over a mean classmate were merely preparation for tougher challenges ahead—like when my son faced a confrontation at school or when my middle child encountered serious issues like drugs.
And then there are the moments that truly shake you, like finding scars on your child’s arms from self-harm.
These days do not get easier.
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In summary, while parenting brings joy and pride, it also presents new and unexpected challenges as children grow older. The journey is not always easy, and the struggles evolve as they do.