From the moment my son was born, it was clear he was incredibly gifted. He began speaking in full sentences well before his first birthday and could recognize letters and numbers by the age of one. His IQ is measured at 130, and while the tester suspected it might be higher, he grew bored during the assessment and started throwing out answers. His verbal score was an astonishing 160—higher than Mensa levels and a record for the assessor. He’s now 12 years old, and his intellect is truly remarkable.
His quirky behaviors sometimes resemble Asperger’s, though he doesn’t meet the official criteria. At school, he’s the go-to kid for answers, which, while impressive, has made social interactions challenging. He’s passionate about subjects that most kids his age find uninteresting, and his tendency to talk extensively about them has made it hard for him to connect with his peers.
When he was younger, his precociousness was charming. Adults enjoyed engaging with him as if he were a mini-adult, and his best friends were often his grandparents. It wasn’t unusual for a toddler to discuss politics, but he did just that. He even appeared on the news at the age of four, captivating everyone with his knowledge and charm.
However, school has proven to be a different story. While adults would listen attentively as he shared facts from his books, classmates often tuned him out or walked away, unable to engage his level of enthusiasm. As he grew older, the dynamics shifted, and kids became increasingly unkind. They mocked him for his intelligence and tendency to over-explain, and his small stature and lack of athletic ability only exacerbated his struggles. In a small school environment where sports dominated, he felt out of place. Gym class was particularly tough, leading to outbursts of frustration rather than tears.
I refuse to ask him to downplay his brilliance, but it’s disheartening to see him struggle. When we had to move him from his small Catholic school to a new one in seventh grade, I hoped for a fresh start where he wouldn’t be defined by his past. Perhaps here, he could simply be seen as quirky.
Initially, things looked promising. He made a few friends to play Minecraft with and occasionally texted. However, after losing phone privileges for a week, I discovered he had zero text messages. My heart sank. The loneliness he must feel is heartbreaking.
I know he has so much to offer, yet kids often overlook him due to his differences. They fail to recognize that he is more than his intellect—he is a beloved son, brother, and grandson, with feelings that matter. His intelligence, while a gift, can also feel isolating, and I worry for him.
Conversations with his teachers and school counselor have reassured me that he is thriving academically and enjoys their support. I’m relieved to know he isn’t sitting alone at lunch. I continue to hold onto hope that he will find his place, especially with the opportunity to join a high school that offers a stellar STEM program. I believe this could be a turning point for him—where he will meet other kids who appreciate him for who he is. I pray for this every day.
As a parent, my concern for my children never wanes, and I will always encourage them to harness their gifts positively. I know he will navigate these challenging years and emerge on the other side with a sense of belonging. Remarkable individuals like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs were once considered outcasts, and I can’t wait for my son to find his tribe and make his mark on the world. I’ll be there cheering him on, ready to stand up against those who never gave him a chance.
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In summary, parenting a highly gifted child comes with its unique challenges, particularly in the realm of socialization. While their intellectual abilities may set them apart, it’s crucial to nurture their emotional well-being and help them find their community. With patience and support, there is hope for them to thrive and connect with like-minded peers.