One of the most difficult challenges I faced while raising my son was coming to terms with the reality that he was an unmotivated student. Despite my husband and I striving not to let his grades define our perception of him—especially throughout high school—we often found ourselves grappling with self-doubt. We questioned our parenting choices, wondering where we went wrong or what we failed to do to spark his motivation. In hindsight, we realized that nothing was fundamentally amiss; it was never our responsibility to instill motivation in him. That drive had to come from within.
In today’s fiercely competitive academic landscape, characterized by AP classes, honor rolls, and perfect GPAs, having a child with average grades is often viewed as a significant concern for many parents. Some may even perceive it as a source of embarrassment. A student earning a “C” might be dismissed as unlikely to succeed in the eyes of elite colleges, with some high school counselors and private admissions advisors overlooking average students entirely.
However, a student’s average performance in high school does not preclude future success in college. My son graduated with a GPA just shy of 3.0, and there were several factors contributing to his average performance, including a mild learning disability (ADHD) and a pronounced lack of motivation. We tried various approaches to engage his interest in academics, from hiring tutors to reaching out to a particularly inspiring PhD English teacher at his school. Yet, despite the teacher’s captivating explanations, my son remained disengaged, which was disheartening for someone like me, an avid reader with a degree in English. How could he thrive in college without the ability to tackle complex texts?
Ironically, he was an encyclopedia of sports knowledge, able to analyze baseball and football statistics in a way that rivaled complex math problems. We often questioned what this wealth of information would yield for his future. Nevertheless, we recognized the invaluable life lessons he learned from playing football—commitment, discipline, respect, and teamwork—and supported him wholeheartedly. We hoped that his passion for sports would eventually translate into his academic endeavors.
The misconception that attending a top-tier university is the sole path to success is not only misleading but impossible for the majority of students who may lack the grades or finances to attend such institutions. Numerous excellent colleges welcome average students and provide enriching educational experiences. My son was fortunate enough to be accepted into one of these universities.
Parents of average students might benefit from adopting a different approach than we did, resisting the urge to push their children incessantly for better academic performance. Many teenagers may not reach a level of maturity to find their motivation until after high school. Our struggles to get him to study harder often led to frustration and unnecessary tension within our family.
Ultimately, my son discovered his passion for American History in college, which allowed him to achieve the grades we always believed he was capable of. He graduated in four years in the spring of 2014, and his senior thesis on the history of the Mexican baseball league’s influence on the sport in the United States earned him a B+. Today, he successfully juggles two jobs—one in management for a college football team and another in public affairs for a prominent energy company. He thrived despite being an average high school student, and importantly, he did so without our constant oversight. This independence is what brings me the greatest satisfaction.
It’s unlikely that any potential employer will inquire about his high school GPA. After all, there’s so much more to his story than that.
(Note: This post was written with my son’s encouragement and support.)
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In summary, parenting an average student can be a journey filled with challenges, but with the right support and understanding, success is possible.