At 18, being labeled a conformist would have stung. In the mid-’90s, I, like many “alternative” girls, donned Doc Martens, adorned my hair with little barrettes, and slipped into vintage dresses. My eclectic style was capped off with vibrant Manic Panic hair dye. Ironically, in my quest for uniqueness, I was merely blending into a sea of similar expressions.
Fast forward two decades, and I’ve fully embraced the ease of conformity. What sparked this drastic shift? Parenthood. Raising kids requires an immense amount of time and energy—feeding, bathing, and simply being with them. Once, I thrived on deep dives into research; now, I find myself prioritizing sleep and simplicity.
Instead of exhaustively scouring the internet for product reviews, I lean on the experiences of friends and family. If my cousin raves about a particular booster seat for her little one, why wouldn’t I trust her judgment? Before purchasing a stroller, I simply asked around. The orange City Mini? If it worked for others, it was good enough for me. Even my choice of car was influenced by the popular Honda CRV among my peers; naturally, I opted for silver, just like most of them.
This is the beauty of crowdsourcing. A quick post on social media yields a wealth of recommendations. I find myself buying the same groceries as my friends; if your pantry is stocked with Annie’s macaroni and cheese, you can bet mine is too! Our children’s toys mirror each other’s, and we turn to beloved authors like Sandra Boynton for storytime.
Certainly, what works for my kids may differ from what works for others, but fundamentally, we all share similar needs—strollers, car seats, clothing. We exchange advice on practical items and warn each other against unnecessary purchases, like wipe warmers or pee-pee teepees.
Embracing conformity has proven to be more than just practical; it’s comforting. Parenthood presents numerous uncertainties, and the fear of making mistakes looms large. By opting for products that others have vetted, I feel a sense of reassurance, knowing that I’m not navigating the parenting journey alone.
I no longer feel the pressure to be a unique snowflake. While I still express myself—now as a natural brunette sporting a subtle red hue rather than the bold colors of my youth—I recognize that I can maintain my identity while sharing a baby walker with a friend.
There’s no virtue in making life harder than it needs to be. Swimming against the current doesn’t earn you accolades. I never envisioned myself as a conformist, nor did I anticipate becoming a suburban stay-at-home mom. Fresh out of college, I moved to New York City, eager to seize the world. While that didn’t unfold as planned, I found something wonderful—marriage and two beautiful children.
As I’ve matured, my definition of success has evolved. I no longer seek the spotlight or crave fame; instead, my focus is on ensuring my children’s safety, happiness, and health. Embracing conformity in parenting is one way I strive to achieve that.
Now, as a parent, I proudly wear the label of a conformist. The more time passes, the more I find comfort in it.
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Summary
This article reflects on the author’s transition from a rebellious youth to a content conformist parent, highlighting how the demands of motherhood have reshaped her views on individuality and parenting choices. Embracing the comfort of conformity allows her to focus on what truly matters—her children’s well-being.