To all the parents I’ve cheered alongside at countless games,
To college friends, classmates, and sorority sisters,
To colleagues and friends of the family,
It’s not you; it’s me.
My anxiety has often led me to dismiss friend requests—nearly every single one. You might think you’re the only one left hanging, but trust me, the struggle is real. I once worked alongside a colleague for over two years before even considering accepting her Facebook friend request, which came just six months into her role. We saw each other daily, yet I hesitated. Why? The thought of exposing my life to so many people was paralyzing.
What dark secrets did I fear they would uncover?
– Pictures of my kid playing sports
– A motivational quote I shared
– A tagged photo of me having fun with my best friend
– My collection of nerdy jokes and puns
You know, the scandalous stuff that could ruin reputations! It sounds absurd, but that’s the nature of anxiety—it fills my mind with irrational fears and imaginative dangers. In my head, anyone wanting to connect with me might want to harm me, not physically, but in that mean-girl sort of way. Thus, I unintentionally became a social media snob.
What does this snobbery look like? For me, it meant limiting my friend list to a select few—those who already knew my secrets (my sister, best friend, college roommates) or those who lived far away, making their insight into my life irrelevant. I activated every privacy setting imaginable and made my profile nearly unsearchable. I was especially wary of accepting requests from new acquaintances, particularly those who reached out right after we met.
I wasn’t trying to be rude or exclusive; I was simply shielding myself from perceived threats.
But recently, I decided enough was enough. It was time to confront my anxiety and tackle those long-standing fears, and guess what topped the list? You guessed it—social media. About ten days ago, I took a leap of faith and accepted 15 of the 75 pending friend requests that had been gathering dust. I even sent out a few requests myself, which felt like monumental progress.
Then, something unexpected happened: my notifications exploded with friend requests from all sorts of people. Panic set in, and my heart raced each time my phone buzzed. I reached out to my colleague, Sarah, who totally understood my social media dilemma. She texted back with laughter and reassuring words: “People just want to connect. Just hit accept.” So, I did. Now, I proudly sit at 278 friends, with only 15 pending requests left. Victory, indeed!
The takeaway? Facing your fears, no matter how trivial they may seem to others, can be terrifying. If you find yourself grappling with FOSM (Fear of Social Media—yes, let’s make that a thing), remember you’re not alone. And to those who thrive on social media, sharing countless memes and funny pics, keep it up! We need some entertainment while we overthink every friend request, like the one from the soccer coach’s wife.
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Summary:
This article reflects on the author’s journey through anxiety and its impact on social media interactions. It highlights the irrational fears that prevent connection and the progress made in accepting friend requests. The narrative emphasizes that facing fears, no matter how trivial they may seem, is crucial for personal growth.