A few weeks ago, I penned a heartfelt post titled “The Face of October.” You can check it out here if you haven’t seen it yet. It delves into my experiences with infertility and the pain of pregnancy loss. While that chapter was incredibly difficult, it doesn’t encapsulate my entire narrative. Despite those challenges, I proudly became a mother four and a half years ago, after countless prayers and tears.
My path to motherhood has always been anything but conventional, so I can’t say I was surprised when my journey took an unexpected turn. We chose the foster-to-adopt route, which led us to go from having no children to three in a matter of moments—an adventure of a lifetime.
Exploring Adoption
Adoption was on our radar from the start. We explored both international and domestic options, but the exorbitant costs were disheartening. I have witnessed the impact of fostering through my mother, who has been a foster parent since I was 16. One weekend, while she was providing respite care for a little girl, I met a sweet child with black hair who instantly stole my heart. My husband and I knew we wanted to adopt her.
We completed the necessary training at lightning speed. Just as we were about to welcome her for the weekend, the agency called, asking if we would also take her little brother. We agreed, but then the agency stunned us by saying we would have to take their two older siblings, aged 15 and 16, as well.
In a flash, we were faced with the prospect of becoming parents to children who were only seven or eight years younger than us. At 23, living in a modest three-bedroom, one-bathroom house, we knew this wasn’t ideal for anyone involved, and we had to decline. It broke our hearts.
Facing Challenges
During a training event, the agency director approached our table and commented on our decision. Her words stung, suggesting that if I truly wanted to be a mom, I would have taken all the children. I spent the rest of that meeting in tears. We left the agency, our hopes dashed, and tried to start a family of our own, but faced more disappointment.
Fast forward seven years. We had just begun attending a new church when we saw a bulletin featuring a little girl from abroad. It sparked something within us about adoption. Coincidentally, we received a letter from our former foster care agency, informing us of significant changes. After much prayer, we decided to give it another shot.
We filled out piles of paperwork, grappling with tough questions about our limits: Would we accept sick children? Siblings? Different races? Each “no” felt heavy, but we had to be honest about our capabilities.
Welcoming Our Children
Once we completed our training, calls began pouring in. The first two felt off, so we declined. Then came a call about a sibling trio that felt right in every way. We were supposed to have two weeks to prepare, but that was shortened to just three days. We scrambled to get beds, clothes, and food, all while battling self-doubt. The night before they were set to arrive, we called the director to reconsider, but she wouldn’t let us back out. I now consider her our guardian angel, guiding us to embrace our destiny.
On April 4th, at 1:00 PM, the social worker delivered three of the most beautiful kids I had ever seen. The eldest, a six-year-old girl, was in tears, scared after leaving her foster family. My mom urged me to comfort her, and when I did, she hugged me tightly and gifted me a white seashell, which I still treasure. As we showed them their new rooms, I felt a wave of emotions—joy, love, fear, and anxiety. It was the essence of motherhood, raw and beautiful.
After enrolling them in school, we spent the weekend bonding as a family. It was during a game night with friends that the youngest first called me “momma,” and I cried tears of joy.
Our New Normal
Of course, it hasn’t been a fairy tale. Parenthood has its ups and downs, and not everyone has been supportive, but that’s their issue, not ours. Sixteen months later, we finalized the adoption. There were tears of happiness all around as we became an official family.
Now, four and a half years later, we’ve adapted as best as any parents do. We love and guide our children, proudly wearing our mom and dad hats. There are still moments of uncertainty, but we tackle each day as it comes. These kids are our entire world, and we cheer for them louder than anyone else. While we’re not perfect, we fit together perfectly in this chaotic life of ours.
Resources
If you’re interested in learning more about pregnancy and adoption, check out this excellent resource on artificial insemination. For more on our journey, you might enjoy this blog post on home insemination.
In summary, our journey from zero children to three in an instant has been filled with challenges, joy, and love. We’ve learned that despite the obstacles, family is what you make of it, and we wouldn’t trade our adventure for anything.