April 7, 2020
In these unsettling times filled with uncertainty, we are surrounded by countless unanswered questions and fears. The absence of a manual to navigate through these challenges is palpable. Observing the sentiments of friends and those I follow on social media, it’s clear that we are all experiencing a shared and evolving emotional landscape.
One thing I’ve come to realize is that there are no definitive answers. Instead of striving to address every inquiry my kids pose, I’ve shifted my focus to listening. We’re prioritizing feelings over facts, humor over solutions, and discovering our own narrative in this situation.
Our family consists of five members: two teenage boys, 14 and 17, and a 13-year-old girl. We live in a rural area among the foothills of Alberta, and aside from our eclectic mix of pets, we embody the quintessential middle-class Canadian family.
The notion of isolation isn’t entirely foreign to us. Five years ago, we made a conscious decision to leave the city in search of open spaces, greenery, and land for gardening. At the time, we were unaware of what we were truly escaping—the constant proximity to others, the noise, the chaos, and the relentless pace of urban life. Settling on our farm liberated us from these stresses, allowing us to embrace quiet for the first time.
This tranquility was both a comfort and a challenge. I became more aware of the emotional detritus that often gets buried beneath the hustle of daily life. I had healing to pursue, forgiveness to extend, and anger to confront. It was difficult to face these feelings while yearning to simply relax outdoors with a cup of tea, watching the birds against the stunning mountain backdrop we had invested so much into.
What I realize now is that I had an unintentional head start in adapting to social distancing. I didn’t enter this situation amid a crisis, but I had to quickly rework my life, routines, and mindset to support my family.
Daily grocery runs became impractical, prompting me to develop better planning skills; creating lists (and lists of lists) became part of my daily rhythm. Connecting with others through virtual coffee dates, texts, or phone calls made more sense as the distance grew, and the demands of managing our farm and family, all while running a business, occupied much of my time.
Of course, there was an adjustment phase. I had been accustomed to spontaneous trips to the mall for a new outfit or a quick lunch out as a reward for juggling the complexities of raising three medically complicated children with numerous appointments. However, I soon discovered that without those distractions, I no longer felt the need for them. I found alternative ways to connect with friends and fill my time.
While I still ventured into the city, my visits became more organized and intentional. I realized I was spending less and desiring less, which sparked a shift toward more sustainable living. I still appreciated nice things, but by staying in more, I had extra funds to invest in what truly mattered rather than impulse buys.
Being physically distanced from others taught me valuable lessons in self-sufficiency. I learned to improvise ingredients in recipes and embraced new hobbies like journaling, yoga, and meaningful conversations over the phone while enjoying my own space. I became adept at maximizing grocery runs to every few weeks instead of every other day, and I discovered Pinterest as a treasure trove for practical solutions instead of just style inspiration.
The lessons from this period of social distancing have been profound. When forced to spend time solely with each other, we uncover hidden aspects of one another’s personalities—both endearing and exasperating. We learn patience, forgiveness, and creative ways to carve out personal time. We find ourselves confronting emotions we often suppress. This experience has revealed the humanity in each of us, offering glimpses into our children’s needs and the individuals they are becoming.
My challenge to you during this unique time is to view it as a gift. You cannot change it, rush it, or ignore it. Instead, embrace it fully. Pay attention to your children—not just their words, but their unspoken cues. Invite them to help in the kitchen, teaching them valuable life skills. Show them how to tackle chores in a way that makes sense so they’re prepared for future partnerships. Encourage walks together and allow them to see your authentic self, as their understanding of you is as valuable as your insight into them.
Now is the time to indulge in the little pleasures: light candles you’ve been saving, open that special bottle of wine, dance with abandon, watch a silly show, play games, or reach out to loved ones you’ve been meaning to connect with. These moments define how we choose to live.
The time has been given to you. Embrace it.
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Summary:
In the face of social distancing, our family has unexpectedly adapted to a quieter, more self-sufficient lifestyle. Living in a rural setting has prepared us for this shift, allowing us to focus on emotional growth, family connections, and sustainable living. We encourage others to embrace this time, discovering new aspects of each other and nurturing relationships in creative ways.