As children transition into school, parents typically seek new employment opportunities for their beloved nannies. Many turn to community forums to share that their “wonderful nanny” is available for hire. A quick search of these forums shows a striking trend: the term “wonderful nanny” appears 519 times, while synonyms like fantastic, incredible, or even decent nanny remain absent. A Google search for “wonderful nanny” yields around 28,000 results, including celebrity endorsements and Craigslist ads, while essential qualities like punctuality or reliability take a backseat.
Linguistically, the phrase “wonderful nanny” is a collocation—words that naturally pair together, much like “dollars to donuts” or “get to the point.” It also exemplifies inflationary language, where more extreme terms are used to describe the positive or negative attributes of something.
Why then is this phrase so prevalent in job postings? I reached out to Dr. Lisa Johnson, a sociology professor at Urban University and author of Raising Urban, which explores the experiences of caregivers in urban settings. She explained, “The term ‘wonderful nanny’ reflects the employer’s attempt to ease the guilt of placing a low-wage worker in a precarious situation. Acknowledging the challenges faced by these workers, who often support families at home, adds another layer of responsibility for the employer. By labeling them as ‘wonderful,’ they hope to assist the worker in finding new employment quickly—thereby alleviating their own guilt.”
Is there any part of parenting that isn’t overshadowed by anxiety and guilt? Just this past January, I was offered a full-time position, but I ultimately declined due to my own reservations. I had interviewed two nannies from the local park, both of whom were attentive caregivers. However, I hesitated because they were undocumented. The legal and ethical implications of hiring them weighed heavily on me. I felt uncomfortable entrusting my children to individuals without formal training or oversight. Guilt plagued me; I didn’t want to contribute to an unfair system that often exploits caregivers, especially immigrant women of color. I even questioned my desire to return to work—wasn’t I supposed to be fulfilled as a stay-at-home mom? And there was the resentment that came with the realization that hiring someone fairly would consume most of my paycheck.
Consequently, I turned down the job offer, thanked the nannies, and continued juggling my responsibilities during evenings and naps while sharing childcare duties with my husband. This arrangement left no one satisfied—the nannies needing work, myself wanting a full-time position, and our children being cared for by exhausted parents.
Interestingly, in conversations with fellow parents, I often hear complaints about their nannies. Many describe them as anything but “wonderful,” citing issues like tardiness and lack of motivation. When I mentioned this to Dr. Johnson, who spent years studying caregivers, she chuckled. “That attitude reflects a deeper gender hierarchy. It’s akin to how many husbands undervalue stay-at-home mothers.”
As a society, we have historically undervalued caregiving roles, often excluding them from essential labor protections like overtime and minimum wage regulations. Recent efforts to extend these protections to home-care workers have stalled. Because their work occurs in private homes, these workers are vulnerable to exploitation, and written contracts are rare. Even those who are compensated fairly often face gaps between jobs, making it difficult to save for retirement. Dr. Johnson notes that employers frequently expect caregivers to take on additional tasks beyond their original agreements, without extra pay, simply to avoid job loss.
Dr. Johnson highlights that parents often hold double standards regarding care. “Parents are on their phones, too. Even when we’re juggling work and childcare, we’re still social beings. Childcare can be monotonous and isolating, and it’s common to see caregivers in the park engaging in other activities.”
If I had taken that job and hired a nanny, I doubt I would have been a more considerate employer than those Dr. Johnson describes. My worries and guilt would likely have led to inflated expectations. After all, we would have been paying her more than our rent; I would have noticed every late arrival and every moment of less-than-cheerful demeanor. I might have considered asking her to handle household chores, convincing myself that she should be able to multitask, even though I know that’s unrealistic. In a way, I would be hoping she would be superhuman—more patient, more creative, and a better cook—because that’s the perception society often imposes on caregivers.
This dynamic between the high costs of childcare and the undervaluation of caregiving is creating a dysfunctional system for American families. The price of hiring nannies or enrolling in daycare can either keep parents out of the workforce or require them to write checks comparable to mortgage payments. Meanwhile, caregivers remain underpaid, lacking health insurance or retirement plans, leading to dire financial futures. According to a national organizer for domestic workers, “There is no good situation for a nanny in retirement.”
No one benefits from such a broken system. When the relationship between employer and nanny ends, it often results in a superficial attempt to advocate for the nanny on job boards, a way for employers to alleviate their own discomfort.
Despite the challenges, we must carve out space for meaningful structural changes, advocating for a well-trained, adequately compensated, and regulated childcare workforce, alongside providing pathways to citizenship for those already in these roles. We need to recognize childcare as a legitimate profession rather than a pastime for women. The rationale for denying wage protections to home-care workers often hinges on the misguided notion that they are merely “companions,” which is a troubling perspective.
The phrase “wonderful nanny,” with its implications of near-perfection, feels out of place. When I see these ads, I wonder—should I be impressed? Is it too much to ask for someone who is reliable and not financially vulnerable, allowing me to pursue my career without contributing to an exploitative system?
That would truly be—well, genuinely great.
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Summary:
The article examines the shortcomings of the American childcare system, highlighting the inconsistency in how caregivers are valued. While many parents describe their nannies as “wonderful,” there is a deeper issue of guilt and exploitation within the caregiving profession. Structural changes are necessary to improve working conditions and recognize childcare as a legitimate profession.