A year ago today, I found myself on the same couch alongside my partner and the psychologist who casually uttered the word “autism” as if she were simply placing an order for coffee. There was no emotion, no fanfare, just stark facts: significant cognitive and language delays, moderate to severe autism. My heart sank.
How did we arrive at this moment? It felt surreal and overwhelming. That day was clouded in confusion and sadness. The weeks that followed brought their own challenges as I grappled with the reality that our family would not unfold as I had envisioned. My experience as a mother was reshaped, and you, my precious child, were not what I had anticipated. But listen closely, my dear: you are so much more. You surpass every dream I held. You exceed every hope I dared to express. You are truly extraordinary.
Strangely enough, your diagnosis was somewhat of a relief. It was like receiving a golden ticket, allowing us access to invaluable therapies that have made a remarkable difference in your life. Your therapists adore you, and my heart swells with joy watching you burst into their offices, eager to engage and learn. Your eye contact has improved significantly, and you respond to your name more often than before. You’re even picking up sign language and can say five words: mommy, daddy, done, go, and tickle! You are also mastering potty training and learning to ride a scooter! Bath time, outdoor play, school, and wrestling with your dad continue to be your favorite activities. You have a surprisingly good rapport with your little brother, who looks up to you with admiration. You might have noticed the way he smiles at you during car rides or at the park; he truly idolizes you.
In many ways, you are my hero too. You are teaching me to be the person I aspire to be. You are instilling in me lessons of perseverance, faith, and determination. You’re showing me how to stand firm for your needs and advocate for what is right. With each milestone you reach, you give me opportunities to trust in a higher plan for your future.
So here we sit again, a year later, on the same couch with the same psychologist discussing your autism and your annual assessment results. But the truth is, so much has transformed over this past year. You have come so far, and as a family, we have grown together. Your father and I are incredibly proud of you and all the effort you’ve put in. Yes, the assessments may reveal the gaps between you and your peers, but we can address that later. Tonight, however, we will celebrate your progress! We will indulge in your favorite movie (Despicable Me), enjoy delicious food (waffles, apples, bacon, and tortilla chips), play outside, cuddle, laugh, and perhaps stay up a little later than usual. Tonight is all about celebrating the remarkable, wonderful you.
You are my greatest adventure, my dear. I love you to the moon and back.
Love,
Mom