Another factor contributing to the bedtime madness is my strict adherence to our routine. I refuse to allow much flexibility in our sleep patterns because I recognize how vital a good night’s sleep is for the entire family. While I certainly don’t enjoy the nightly nagging and resistance that kicks off at 7:30 p.m., I know that the benefits of sleep far outweigh the struggles.
My oldest child is 8, and her younger twin siblings are nearly 6. The twins have always followed the same sleep schedule, and in recent years, they’ve gone to bed at the same time each night. A 2013 study in Pediatrics confirmed that regular sleep habits enhance children’s behavior. Specifically, research involving 10,000 children at ages 3, 5, and 7 revealed that irregular bedtimes are linked to “behavioral difficulties.” Teachers and parents reported worsening behavior scores as children experienced non-regular bedtimes throughout early childhood.
This finding resonates with me. When my kids are overtired or haven’t had sufficient rest, they can be unbearable. Their ability to concentrate diminishes, and their emotions run high. They tend to clash more with their siblings and react irrationally to discipline. During times when our bedtime routine is disrupted—whether due to vacations or illness—they seem to lose all semblance of control during critical moments.
Another study published in Frontiers in Human Neuroscience elaborates on why sleep deprivation leads to such poor behavior, indicating that it impacts more areas of a child’s brain than in adults. The researchers measured brain activity in children aged 5 to 12, comparing nights of adequate sleep with nights of half the usual sleep. While tiredness clouds our thinking and hampers memory—affecting the prefrontal cortex—children show negative effects in the parieto-occipital regions as well. These regions are crucial for the smooth transmission of messages throughout the brain.
Given this, I’m strict about my kids not having sleepovers unless I can ensure that the other parents uphold similar bedtime standards. The last time my daughter spent the night at a neighbor’s house, the following day was a complete disaster. She was irritable, indecisive, and convinced that everything was against her, often bursting into tears. She eventually collapsed in exhaustion later that afternoon but struggled to fall asleep until nearly 11:00 p.m., taking days to return to her normal rhythm.
The Pediatrics study also noted that a consistent bedtime leads to improved behavior. Sleep is essential for our children’s brain development. It not only regulates their behavior but also boosts their immune system, enhances learning ability and focus, and reduces obesity risks. When my kids get adequate sleep, I also stand a better chance of catching some rest. I often find myself burning the midnight oil to finish work, and after a few late nights, my mood swings, focus wanes, and I start to spiral downwards. At least by enforcing a structured routine for my kids, I can increase my chances of getting to bed on time.
Despite the nightly struggle to usher my children toward sleep, having a routine proves beneficial. Although they’re not fans of brushing their teeth, changing into pajamas, or selecting clothes for the next day, they understand what’s expected of them and eventually comply. We read a set number of stories before lights out, and I limit screen time and roughhousing before bed—though navigating the stairs often results in playful sibling tussles. My kids sleep with sound machines, and my oldest takes a low dose of melatonin, which helps her drift off peacefully after I read to her, rather than lying awake with racing thoughts or staying up far too late reading on her own.
Some evening events have been missed due to our strict bedtime routine, but I know that staying too long at a friend’s gathering or attending late sporting events isn’t worth the fallout of cranky behavior the next day.
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In summary, establishing a consistent bedtime routine has proven to be a cornerstone of my parenting approach. It not only helps maintain my children’s behavior but also promotes their overall well-being and my own sanity.