Last night, after dinner, while my kids dashed outside to play with friends or ride their bikes before bath time, I found myself alone with my nine-year-old daughter. I had chores piling up, but I realized this was a moment that deserved my full attention, so I decided to spend some quality time with her.
We settled on the couch and browsed through old photos on my phone—a digital version of flipping through family albums. I focused on images that included her, like the one where she exclaimed, “Mom, I think I’m getting my first pimple!” We shared laughter, reminiscing about her quirky childhood moments, and I cherished the clever, vibrant fourth grader she is today. She leaned into me, soaking up the undivided attention as if it were a warm blanket. These moments are vital for both of us.
As a mother of three, I often find it challenging to engage with one child without another seeking my attention with questions or excited announcements. It’s a common scenario when you have a lively household, but it can also be quite exasperating. If I had a dollar for every time I said, “Just a moment, I’m in the middle of a conversation,” I’d be enjoying a luxurious vacation. My children all crave my attention, and in the name of efficiency, I often refer to them collectively as “the kids.” We’re taking the kids to the park. The kids have dentist appointments on Thursday.
While our family dynamic is essential, I must remember that each child is an individual with their own needs. They require me to connect with them one-on-one, helping me appreciate their unique qualities and the distinct contributions they bring to our family. They’re like different spices in a recipe, creating a delightful dish—but sometimes those individual flavors get overshadowed. It’s crucial for them to feel acknowledged and valued.
Balancing the needs of three children can be tricky, but I prioritize carving out special moments with each of them. This investment pays off by bolstering their self-esteem and fostering a sense of belonging. It doesn’t require hours of my time to make a difference; simple activities can be incredibly meaningful. I might take one child grocery shopping, where we chat as we fill the cart with snacks that will disappear in days. Or we could spend a few minutes shooting hoops in the driveway. Occasionally, I treat one of them to ice cream for a longer outing.
At bedtime, I often sit on the edge of their beds for a few minutes, engaging in lighthearted conversations. Kids tend to open up during these nighttime chats, providing a glimpse into their thoughts and feelings. These seemingly trivial moments become deposits in their emotional bank accounts. They create a safe environment for them to express concerns or ask questions they might shy away from in front of their siblings.
It’s hard to ignore the reality that one day my kids will leave home. Our family dynamic will change significantly, and those moments of vying for my attention will be replaced with solitude. While our family bond is vital, the individual connections I nurture now will become even more significant when they navigate life on their own.
One-on-one time is beneficial for my kids, but it also enriches my life. When the chaos fades, I can see them clearly and connect on a deeper level. I feel immense pride and joy in witnessing the incredible individuals they are becoming. These moments fulfill my vision of motherhood, making it a rewarding journey.
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In summary, dedicating time to each of my children individually fosters their self-worth and strengthens our bond. It’s a small investment that yields priceless returns, enriching our family and my experience as a mother.