Parenting is no walk in the park. Despite the cheerful snapshots we share on social media, every parent faces their own set of challenges behind the scenes. While some struggles may be fleeting, the truth is that we all encounter difficulties—it’s simply part of the parenting journey. When you’re raising a child with a disability, however, those challenges can amplify significantly.
My son’s disabilities keep me in a constant state of vigilance. I find myself perpetually preoccupied with thoughts about his needs and safety, as well as the myriad of responsibilities that come with motherhood. This whirlwind of thoughts often includes:
- Is he safe right now?
- Does he feel understood?
- Did I remember to reschedule those dentist appointments?
- Is he behaving well at school?
- I really need to stop binge-eating my emotions.
- Am I advocating enough for him?
- Did I take something out for dinner?
- Where did I stash that paperwork?
- I need to delete some photos from my phone.
- Should I ask for another meeting?
- How can I ensure my other kids feel valued?
- Will he ever sleep in his own room again?
- What day is it, anyway?
- I hope nobody heard that swear word he just dropped at the grocery store.
These thoughts often come rushing in all at once, creating a tornado of stress that can be overwhelming. After 13 years of parenting, I’ve grown accustomed to this high-pressure environment. While I usually manage to keep up, there are moments when the toll of raising a child with a disability becomes evident, and my mental health takes a hit.
I feel exhausted, frustrated with unresolved issues, and I consistently place my own needs at the bottom of the list. Emails go unanswered, I gain weight (because let’s face it, indulging in cupcakes feels more rewarding than processing my emotions), and relationships often take a backseat. Recognizing these consequences only adds to my stress, creating a vicious cycle of negativity.
Mothers, especially in the disability community, often struggle with prioritizing their own needs over their children’s. The workload is immense, and we push ourselves to the limit. I know I need a break and more support to achieve that, but the thought of adding yet another task to my already overflowing plate feels daunting. So, I cope—with more cupcakes, of course. But I realize that this isn’t a sustainable solution, even in the short term.
I need to take a step back to focus on my own mental health if I want to become the parent others assume I already am. I must learn to breathe, relax, and finish those books I started but set aside. Rediscovering hobbies I enjoyed before the monumental responsibility of parenting a child with a disability is crucial. Self-care is not a luxury; it’s a necessity.
Until I can make those changes, I’ll keep sharing those happy moments online—not to deceive anyone, but because they bring me joy on the days when I struggle to find time for myself. I’m a work in progress, just like everyone else.
For more insights on parenting, check out our blog about the at-home insemination kit. It’s important to recognize that men also have biological clocks, as discussed in this resource from Intracervical Insemination. If you’re looking for guidance on pregnancy and home insemination, this site offers excellent resources.
In summary, maintaining mental well-being as a parent of a child with a disability is vital—not just for me, but for my family. Recognizing the need for self-care and addressing my own challenges will ultimately help me be the best parent I can be.