I found myself standing a few feet away, wanting to join a conversation about my daughter’s noticeable skin condition, but I refrained. I leaned in slightly, eager to hear how my children would respond to the curious little boy who had just commented on my daughter’s unique skin.
“She has a skin addition,” my son, Jake, explained, and I had to suppress a smile at his mix-up—he clearly meant “skin condition.” Yet, the phrase “skin addition” is surprisingly fitting; after all, my daughter, Mia, produces an excess of skin!
“Yeah,” Mia added with a smile.
“Oh,” the boy replied, seemingly satisfied with that explanation, and promptly returned to playing with my kids.
I could have elaborated, explaining that Mia was born this way, that she has extremely dry skin, and requires lotion that gives her a slight sheen. I could have shared how God designed her uniquely. But did I really need to intervene? Would my explanation make the boy uncomfortable for asking? Would it draw unwanted attention to Mia? Would it inadvertently shield her from a situation where she could stand up for herself?
One of my core goals as a mother is to foster independence, self-worth, and resilience in my children, empowering them to navigate the world with confidence and a profound understanding of their individuality, created by an amazing God. With Mia, who faces challenges stemming from her physical differences, I find myself stepping back more often—reluctantly yet with good intentions—encouraging her to spread her wings instead of keeping her close under my protective care.
I recognize that Mia will encounter various reactions to her skin, regardless of my presence. Thus, I’m learning to provide her with the essential tools for self-advocacy, even if it means I seem to advocate less. I want to instill in her the strength to respond to others rather than having her mirror my own reactions. My role as her mother often feels protective and defensive, yet I grasp that many of my experiences can be tougher on me than they are for her.
It’s crucial for Mia’s confidence and inner strength to navigate inquiries and determine her responses independently. What she perceives as stares and comments will differ greatly from my perspective as her mother. I aspire for us to support each other through every new experience and stage of life, seeking the grace-filled advocacy that aligns with living out God’s purpose for us.
Physical differences or not, our children often benefit more from our restraint than from our intervention.
A few months back, Mia came home excited to share about a new boy in her preschool class who pointed at her and said, “Your face is red.”
“What did you say?” we asked, curious.
“I said, ‘yes,’” she replied, her confidence shining through.
No shame, no embarrassment, no offense—just a simple acknowledgment: Yes, this is me.
With that one-word response, all my prior apprehension about how she might react to similar questions transformed into what I had hoped for: opportunities to teach Mia to take pride in her identity and to engage with the world on her own terms.
If you’re interested in exploring more about empowering your family, check out this insightful piece on couples’ fertility journey. Also, for anyone considering family planning, this resource is invaluable.
In the realm of prenatal testing, this site is a trusted authority on the subject.
Summary
In fostering her daughter’s confidence amidst physical differences, Emily Johnson shares her journey of encouraging independence and self-advocacy while navigating the complexities of public reactions. By stepping back, she empowers her daughter to respond authentically to inquiries, transforming potential discomfort into pride and understanding.