The dedication of John le Carré’s novel “The Constant Gardener” to humanitarian Yvette Pierpaoli, who devoted her life to aiding refugees, resonates deeply with me. Her words, “Though at the level of the individual our actions may be light as a cloud, united they can change the color of the sky,” speak to the power of collective compassion. Yvette was more than just a remarkable individual; she was the mother-in-law of my friend, Alex, who collaborated with me on the picture book *Journey Together*. Inspired by Yvette’s life, we dedicated our book to her legacy.
Yvette’s passion for life was fueled by her empathy for others, stemming from her own childhood experiences of rejection. This understanding of pain and loneliness shaped her commitment to living for others. As a parent, I aspire for my children to embrace this same passion and compassion, especially as we approach Thanksgiving—a time for gratitude and reflection on kindness.
A Lesson in Empathy
A few weeks ago, on Halloween night, I witnessed a small but poignant lesson in empathy involving my youngest child, who is 12 and plays the viola in a youth orchestra. Despite the Halloween festivities, he had a practice that kept him busy until late. A friend had planned to wait for him to go trick-or-treating, but by the time he arrived home, the friend had already gone out with other kids, leaving my son feeling forgotten and disappointed.
In that moment of sadness, I saw the struggle in both my husband and me as we recognized the hurt our son felt. With the night growing late, I suggested to my teenage daughter, Mia, that she might accompany her brother on his rounds. Initially, she hesitated, focusing on her homework, but I gently encouraged her to consider wearing an old costume I had saved.
After some coaxing, Mia donned the costume and asked her brother to join her. At first, he dismissed the offer, feeling that it was merely an act of pity. I reminded him that sometimes, accepting help from others is perfectly okay. After a brief moment of contemplation, he agreed to go.
When they returned an hour later, Mia was all smiles, and my son was in much better spirits, having turned their outing into a fun skit about being twins who finish each other’s sentences.
The Importance of Allowing Emotions
While our story ended positively, the reality is that not every situation is so easily resolved. Witnessing our children’s heartaches can be more challenging than enduring our own. However, it is essential that we allow them to experience these emotions, knowing that it contributes to their growth as caring individuals. Through hardship, we cultivate empathy, which will help my son relate to others who feel neglected or alone in the future.
Empathy, defined as the capacity to understand and share the feelings of another, begins at home. By allowing our children to navigate their feelings with our support, we lay the groundwork for their emotional intelligence. This is reflected in the story we created in *Journey Together*, where a young girl learns that her fears about the world are valid and that she can make a difference by connecting with others, much like Mia did for her brother.
Thanksgiving Reflections
As we gather around the table this Thanksgiving, let us reflect on how we can all contribute to a kinder world, just as Yvette did throughout her life.
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Conclusion
In summary, nurturing compassion in our children is vital. By allowing them to experience emotions and offering support, we can raise empathetic individuals who care for the world around them. As we embrace this Thanksgiving, let’s remember the importance of kindness and connection.