I’m that parent. You know the type—the one who makes their kids cringe during morning drop-off. But I don’t embarrass mine with mushy goodbyes or messy face wipes. No, I take it a step further. Each morning, as they hop out of the car, I enthusiastically shout, “Be kind!”
Then, when I pick them up in the afternoon, my first question is always, “Who did you show kindness to today?” Sometimes they pause, contemplating, only to reveal they were kind to their teacher for allowing them to chat. Other times, their responses come bubbling out joyfully: “I made Alex laugh!” “I complimented Jamie on his cool backpack.” “I helped Mia when she dropped her books.” “Sam walked me to the nurse after I got hit in dodgeball.”
Only after we’ve explored their acts of kindness will I delve into the usual school day inquiries. “Do you have homework?” “How did your math test go?” “Do we need to review spelling?” But honestly, my concern for their kindness far outweighs my interest in academic performance.
In this age, it’s impossible to ignore the pervasive anger surrounding us. The news can be heart-wrenching, and online comment sections overflow with hostility. Public shaming is everywhere, and frustration seems to echo in every corner. People are grieving and upset, and the answer to combat this is simple: kindness. The mantra of decent individuals should be more than just “don’t be a jerk”; it requires active kindness.
We can discuss kindness with our children endlessly, but conversation alone won’t suffice. We must demonstrate kindness ourselves. Just the other day, while driving to dinner, a car cut in front of my partner, who reacted by beeping and swerving. I braced myself for confrontation, but to my surprise, the other driver pulled alongside us and sincerely apologized, laughing off his mistake. My partner did the same, and we all left the encounter feeling lighter.
“What was he saying?” one of my kids inquired.
“He was apologizing,” I replied. “Mistakes happen. Just say sorry, forgive, and move on. If you can, laugh about it. Always choose kindness.”
Isn’t that how life should function?
While I strive to meet my own high standards of kindness, I often falter. I raise my voice too frequently, lose patience, and occasionally forget important dates. When stress hits, I might even become irritable. This results in our family practicing apologies and forgiveness regularly—more than I’d like to admit.
I don’t just instruct my children to be kind; I actively model it. I compliment strangers in their presence, remind them that a distracted driver might be having a rough day, and highlight the value of grace and understanding. I aim to convey that it’s human to err, as long as the intention is right and one takes steps to amend their mistakes. My goal isn’t just to raise children who avoid being rude; I want them to embody kindness.
It may seem that anger and ignorance dominate our world. It often feels as though many parents focus solely on academic or athletic excellence. We hear tales of parents blaming educators for their children’s shortcomings, with the term “gifted” thrown around casually. Conversations often revolve around sports teams or academic accolades.
But I reject this notion. There are more compassionate individuals in the world than there are unkind ones. Most parents genuinely want to cultivate kind-hearted children, even if it means they’re not the best at every endeavor. I believe that most of us are already encouraging our kids with shouts of “be kind!” The truth is, children are naturally inclined to be kind; we just need to guide them to understand that their ability to spread kindness holds greater value than achieving the winning goal or acing a science test.
So I will continue to be that parent—the one who exclaims “Be kind!” instead of “Have a great day!” The one who prioritizes discussions about kindness over spelling tests. The one who, during parent-teacher meetings, wants to focus on friendship and teamwork rather than academic benchmarks.
Because simply not being rude isn’t sufficient anymore.
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Summary
This article emphasizes the importance of raising kind children in a world often filled with anger and hostility. The author shares personal anecdotes about how they instill kindness in their children, making it a priority over academic achievements. The piece also highlights the need for parents to model kindness in their everyday actions, illustrating that the true measure of success is the compassion we show to others.