When we observe children who refuse to stay down after a fall, we often see a spark of defiance. As Brené Brown eloquently states in her book Rising Strong, “When we make the choice to dare greatly, we sign up to get our asses kicked.” And indeed, the journey of resilience can be messy and challenging.
Take, for instance, a day at the park with my son, Max. He had fallen numerous times while attempting to navigate a makeshift obstacle course he had eagerly designed. Each tumble sent a wave of anxiety through me; I worried for his safety and his spirit. After a couple of tumbles, I questioned our decision to come out, wishing instead we had stayed at home in the comfort of our living room.
Max’s younger brother, Leo, had already breezed through the course, earning accolades for his speed and agility. Max, on the other hand, struggled. With each attempt on the final beam, he fell repeatedly, his frustration mounting. The drops were not just physical; they were emotional. I glanced at my partner, both of us bracing for the inevitable breakdown.
Yet, after what felt like an eternity of effort, Max found a new strategy. Instead of giving up, he clung tightly to the beam and crawled slowly but surely upward. He persevered and eventually reached the top, earning our cheers. When he learned Leo had outpaced him significantly, I braced for disappointment. Surprisingly, Max praised his brother instead, showing a maturity beyond his years.
This moment was profound. We congratulated him, not for completing the course, but for his relentless spirit. He hadn’t just participated; he had embodied perseverance, rising time and again, an accomplishment that transcended mere victory. As we often remind our children to be brave and work diligently, we sometimes overlook the importance of embracing the struggles that accompany growth.
In our culture, we tend to celebrate achievements while glossing over the hard work that leads to those victories. As parents, our tendency to shield our children from pain can inadvertently send the message that falling is synonymous with failure. We often focus on the triumphs—the good grades, the sports victories, the prestigious awards—while the real essence of growth lies in the grit displayed during the journey.
Earlier this summer, Max pitched in his first baseball game. Despite my fears of potential failure, he struck out three batters after initially walking one. While the victory was sweet, I found more value in his determination during the obstacle course. When Max faces future challenges, I want him to remember that he can rise again, just as he did before.
By emphasizing resilience and the process of overcoming obstacles, we can instill in our children a sense of pride in their efforts, not just the outcomes. They can learn to embrace the journey, recognizing that true strength lies in the ability to rise after each fall, with both grit and grace.
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In summary, as we nurture our children, let us celebrate not just their successes but also their struggles. Fostering resilience and acknowledging the importance of the journey will empower them to face future challenges with confidence.