Updated: Aug. 3, 2016 | Originally Published: March 12, 2016
As I drove, my 13-year-old son, Ethan, turned to me with an eager expression. “Hey, Mom, what’s our plan for next Friday night?”
I glanced at his face, now adorned with teenage acne and braces that caught the sun’s rays. It felt like only yesterday I was glancing back at him in his infant car seat through the rearview mirror. His chubby cheeks have transformed into defined cheekbones, and the sweet scent of babyhood has given way to the unmistakable aroma of a tween who might have skipped a shower.
“Well, nothing major. Why do you ask?”
He stared out the window, took a deep breath, and then looked back at me with a hint of nervousness. “There’s this girl I want to ask out.”
In that moment, my little boy had taken a significant step toward adulthood. I had anticipated this day, knowing that eventually, Ethan’s heart would be captured, and he’d seek companionship beyond just his sister’s friends. The time had come for him to explore the often tumultuous waters of teenage romance, and while I wished I could freeze time, I recognized this as a chance to support him on his journey.
Dating can be challenging, particularly when one is uncertain of how to navigate it. I wanted him to embody the thoughtful romantic gestures his father had shown me, ensuring that he at least remembered to bring flowers.
Despite the nostalgic memories of him in footie pajamas, clutching a Thomas the Train, I agreed that he could invite the girl to the upcoming Valentine’s celebration. The joy lighting up his face was bittersweet, a reminder that he was slowly drifting away from me.
When he requested, “Oh, and if we go for ice cream afterward, could you sit at another table so we can, you know, talk?” I had to suppress my initial reaction.
As the date approached, we talked about proper dating etiquette. I emphasized the importance of asking her out in person rather than through text. We practiced a firm handshake, ensuring he could greet her father respectfully, and we discussed how to be polite to her mother when picking her up. With every piece of advice, I aimed to instill the values of respect, kindness, and chivalry.
On the night of the date, I anticipated feeling a pang of sadness as my son prepared to spend time with a girl who wasn’t me. I imagined tears welling up as I saw him style his hair and catch a whiff of the cologne he borrowed from his dad. But as I listened to his sister tease him about the potential for kissing and holding hands, I found myself smiling instead.
When Ethan descended the stairs in his neatly pressed khakis and a button-down shirt, my heart skipped a beat. I was no longer looking at a baby but a young man. Yet, instead of tears, I felt acceptance of my role as a parent of a tween. He would chase his dreams and follow his heart, carrying a piece of me with him always.
As I handed him a few extra dollars and adjusted his collar, he embraced me and said, “Thanks for letting me go.” That was when I almost let the tears fall.
But they weren’t tears of sadness; they were tears of joy for his blossoming happiness and the fact that I had raised him to be ready for this moment. I was prepared to let him venture out into the world a little more that night.
And while I was proud of him on his first real date, I’ll always reserve the right to go Mama Bear if a girl ever breaks his heart.
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Summary
This article chronicles a mother’s experience as her 13-year-old son prepares for his first date. She reflects on the bittersweet nature of watching him grow, emphasizing the importance of teaching respect and kindness in relationships. As he embarks on this new journey, she embraces her role in supporting him while also grappling with her emotions about his independence.