In 2009, I was outside a hotel with my 2-year-old son, Noah, who was fascinated by a flowerbed. As the sprinklers sprayed water, he wanted to lean in closer. While attempting to guide him inside, he suddenly went limp—something he often did when reluctant to leave. I felt a distinct pop in his arm, and panic set in.
At that moment, I had no idea that a toddler’s joints, particularly the elbow, can easily slip out of place. When Noah cried out in pain, his right arm hanging lifelessly, I was engulfed by fear. We were vacationing in southern Utah, attending a festival with family, and my primary concern was keeping Noah quiet so my partner could rest.
As a young dad at 24, I assumed the worst—I had harmed my child. Noah had always been resilient, bouncing back from tumbles without a fuss. Yet, this incident ignited a deep-seated fear within me that every parent grapples with: the anxiety of causing harm to your child. Before becoming a father, I was bombarded with alarming stories of accidents that led to tragedy, and I often felt unqualified for the role. The phrase “Are you sure you can be a parent?” echoed in my mind from friends who questioned my readiness.
Outside the hotel, I cradled Noah, who was still sobbing, and my heart raced. I was relieved I hadn’t killed him, but the looming fears of causing a permanent injury and losing him weighed heavily on me.
I took him into the hotel room, where my partner, Lily, was getting ready. When Noah saw her, he attempted to lift his left arm, but it was evident he was in too much pain. I felt overwhelmed with emotions, wishing he didn’t have to experience such distress. My perspective on life had shifted since becoming a parent; I had never considered these thoughts before.
“What happened?” Lily asked.
I explained everything—Noah going limp, the pop I felt, and my fear of having broken him. “I honestly don’t know what to do. Do you think it will just fix itself?” Looking back, the answer seems obvious: we should have gone to the doctor. However, at the time, I was so anxious about our insurance situation and the potential costs associated with a visit that I hesitated. I also feared that the doctors wouldn’t believe my account, leading to even more dire consequences.
Even years later, with three children now, I still find myself overwhelmed in similar situations. But in that moment, I was paralyzed by fear.
Lily, usually the calm one, held Noah until he settled down. Then, she suggested we call a nurse. “We can do that?” I asked, surprised.
“Of course, there’s a number on the back of our insurance card,” she replied, giving me a look that suggested I had been out of touch.
I called the number, and as I described the situation to the nurse, Noah began to play around the room, seemingly fine except for his limp arm. The nurse explained that his arm likely experienced a partial dislocation, a common injury known as Nursemaid’s elbow. “You’ll need to take him to urgent care, where they can pop it back into place,” she advised.
To my relief, I later learned that Nursemaid’s elbow is a frequent occurrence in toddlers. Noah would go on to experience it multiple times, often from simple activities like tripping while running or being held too tightly. It became a regular part of our lives, but in that hotel room, we were still learning.
As the nurse provided directions to the nearest urgent care, Noah stumbled over my foot and tumbled onto his shoulder. I quickly informed the nurse, and to my astonishment, he was suddenly able to use his right arm again. “That’s wonderful! It sounds like it popped back in,” she said cheerfully.
While I was relieved, I couldn’t shake the feeling of embarrassment. I confided in the nurse, wondering if I was a bad parent for being so anxious. “This is so embarrassing,” I admitted. “I’m trying my best. Am I doing something wrong?” Her response resonated deeply with me.
“I’ve been a parent for years and speak to many worried parents,” she reassured me. “Caring for little ones is tough. They can be like unpredictable balls bouncing around, and injuries happen despite our best efforts. Your concern shows you’re a caring parent.”
Her words brought tears to my eyes—was it relief or gratitude? Perhaps both. I thanked her sincerely for her support, and in that moment, I realized that many parents feel this way. So, if you find yourself in a similar situation, remember it’s a common part of parenting. You are not alone.
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Summary
Nursemaid’s elbow is a common injury in toddlers, often leading to panic in new parents. This article shares a personal experience of a father’s fear and embarrassment when his child experienced this injury. It emphasizes that such incidents are frequent and normal, reminding parents that they are not alone in their worries. The support from medical professionals can ease anxieties, reinforcing that caring for young children is challenging and injuries can happen despite our best efforts.