Parenting has certainly evolved. Gone are the days when we hurried our kids out the door to avoid being late for school, ferried them to practices and games, and made frequent trips to the grocery store. Life has drastically changed, and alongside our remote work responsibilities, we’ve found ourselves taking on roles like teacher, playmate, coach, and — perhaps unexpectedly — sex educator.
May marks the celebration of Sex Ed For All Month, a campaign aimed at ensuring all young individuals receive the knowledge and skills necessary to make informed decisions about their lives. As a parent and a professional in sexual education, I urge parents and adults who are isolating with children to engage in discussions about sex, relationships, bodies, love, consent, puberty, STIs, contraception, abstinence, pleasure, pregnancy, and other sometimes daunting topics.
The more openly these subjects are talked about within your family, the more comfortable everyone becomes. This openness increases the likelihood that your children will (1) acquire the knowledge to make informed choices about their sexual health; (2) approach you with their questions; (3) have the time to reflect on their values regarding sexual and romantic relationships; (4) report any instances of sexual assault or abuse; and (5) advocate for their needs in terms of sex education and sexual health services. Here are five key points to consider as you navigate these discussions:
1. Start Early—There’s No Time Like the Present.
As a sex educator, these discussions have always been a part of my kids’ lives. Every doctor visit since they were born has sparked conversations about who can touch our bodies and how. Everyday activities like diaper changes, bath time, and potty training have opened the door to using accurate terms for body parts. There’s a developmentally appropriate way to discuss every topic in sex education. For instance, talking about consent can begin with explaining why it’s essential to ask for permission before borrowing a toy or giving a hug. Whatever age your child is, if these discussions haven’t started yet, seize the moment now!
2. Create Ongoing Conversations Instead of One Big Talk.
Most discussions I have with my kids are brief, relaxed, and don’t even feel like formal sex education. Many family conversations naturally touch on sex and relationships, so this doesn’t have to feel like a daunting task. For example, while revisiting movies I loved as a teenager, I now recognize their problematic themes—like sexism and homophobia—and we discuss those elements together. Or during our frequent dog walks, we spot rainbow flags and talk about sexual orientation and gender identity.
3. If They’re Curious Enough to Ask, They’re Ready for Answers.
If your children are asking questions about sex, bodies, or relationships, that’s a great sign they feel safe approaching you. With more time together and relaxed screen time rules, new inquiries are likely to arise. Your answers don’t need to be overly complex; just be honest, avoid shaming them, and provide factual information suitable for their age. You can even ask them to elaborate on what prompted their question to better gauge how to respond. Kids genuinely want to hear from us about these topics. Our organization has created “A Guide for Teens: Talking with Parents & Trusted Adults About Sex” to empower them to initiate conversations. You might consider leaving it out on the counter for easy access.
4. Acknowledging Your Limitations is Normal.
It’s perfectly fine not to have all the answers. Even professionals like me encounter questions we can’t immediately answer! When this happens, don’t panic or brush it off. Thank your child for their question, and if you’re unsure, be honest about it. Suggest doing some research together to find the answer. If you know the answer but aren’t ready to discuss it at that moment, let them know when you’ll revisit the topic. The key here is to follow up—failure to do so may hinder your credibility as an #AskableParent. Useful resources for answers can be found at sites like NHS and Power to Decide.
5. Be Inclusive, Affirming, and Patient.
Celebrate and affirm all aspects of your child’s identity, including their sexual orientation and gender identity. Don’t assume they know you’ll support them if they identify as LGBTQIA+. I often remind my kids, “I love you no matter your sexual orientation or gender identity.” Even if they roll their eyes, I think the message is getting through. Remember, even in a safe and open environment, your child might choose to consult another trusted adult with their questions. That’s okay! It’s crucial they know they won’t upset you by seeking support elsewhere.
In summary, sex education is vital. It equips young people with essential, lifesaving skills. So, this May, take the opportunity to engage in natural conversations about these topics and ensure that their sex education remains a priority. Thank you for your dedicated efforts to support your children’s growth and learning. You’re doing great!