As a laid-back mom, my expectations are fairly simple. I encourage my kids to be polite and respectful, while allowing them the freedom to explore—within reason, of course. Any mother can attest that a happy toddler equates to a happy mom; however, kids often forget that happiness is a two-way street. If only they’d put in a little effort to ensure my happiness, our days would be much smoother.
To assist them, I’ve compiled a list of ten straightforward ways to brighten my day. Surely, these aren’t unreasonable requests, right?
- Sleep Past 5 A.M.: Seriously, kids! If you could let me snooze until at least 6, my mood would improve significantly. Like fine wine, the later I sleep, the more pleasant I become—trust me, that bottle I’m eyeing around 2 p.m. is not just for show.
- Try Your Dinner: You don’t have to finish it, just take one bite. You won’t know if it’s yucky unless you at least taste it! Daintily poking it or merely sniffing doesn’t count—just one bite, preferably with a fork, though I recognize that’s asking a lot.
- Avoid Eating Non-Food Items: Crayons, stickers, chalk, Play-Doh, and dirt should not be on your menu! I know these won’t inflict long-term damage, but changing those Technicolor diapers has left me scarred for life.
- Nap Without Resistance: You don’t even have to sleep—just stay quiet for an hour! I’d prefer not to discover that you’ve taken off your diaper and are redecorating your crib during this time.
- No Meltdowns in the Grocery Store: It’s already embarrassing enough when the store staff only sees you in pajamas at all hours. Please don’t add to the spectacle.
- Keep Things Out of Your Nose: Sneezing out pine cones may seem amusing now, but one day I might not be able to retrieve whatever odd object gets stuck. That’ll mean an embarrassing trip to the ER, which would cut into your birthday funds—think about it!
- Stop Licking People: Seriously, it’s just gross and utterly strange.
- Appreciate the Cup I Gave You: I get it; you want the blue cup. But when I give it to you, suddenly the red cup becomes the desired choice. I’m done with this sippy cup musical chairs—it’s just a cup, not your soulmate.
- Let Me Launder Your Blanket: Yes, I know it’s your best friend, but it can’t be your all-purpose companion for every adventure. It’s dirty, and you can survive an hour without it.
- Hug Me When I Ask: You’re growing up way too fast, and I want to cherish your affection while it lasts. If you give me a hug, I might even let you have ice cream for breakfast!
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Summary:
This article humorously outlines ten simple strategies that kids can adopt to make their mothers happier. From letting their mom sleep in a bit longer to appreciating their sippy cups and avoiding meltdowns in public, the suggestions provide a lighthearted take on the daily challenges of parenting while emphasizing the importance of mutual happiness in family life.